‘A teacher helping me with homework was studying psychology, and asked me many intelligent questions. That’s when I became curious about psychology. I specialized in drug addiction, then psychoanalysis and dream interpretation, transactional analysis, then transpersonal psychology.

‘I once left my body, and saw myself from the outside. I started researching, and found that you can do such things in trance states. I learned hypnosis and holotropic breathwork. I was using hypnosis to explore my clients’ past lives, but sometimes they instead went into some other dimension or planet, and I realized then that there are such worlds.

‘I went into the Amazon to work with shamans. On ayahuasca, the jungle spoke to me telepathically, and asked me to help it. I was in awe. Each time I drank it, I saw a probable future, and focused on it.

‘Ayahuasca is trance. When you drink it, you communicate with a sentient entity. In my opinion, everything has a cause in the spiritual realm, that materializes in the body. I help people enter into a light trance to see the spiritual causes of their problems.’

Silvia Polivoy, PhD, is co-founder and facilitator at the Spirit Vine Ayahuasca retreat center in Brazil, where I went last year. She is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who has worked in psychoanalysis, transactional therapy, transpersonal approaches, spiritual methods, meditation, group therapy, hypnosis, past-life regression, Jungian archetypes, and holotropic breathwork. She studied psilocybin mushrooms with Mazatec shamans in Mexico, the San Pedro cactus, and ayahuasca in the Peruvian and Brazilian Amazon. Many leaders in consciousness studies have joined her retreats, including Rick Doblin, founder and president of MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies), and psychedelic artist Alex Grey. At her ayahuasca retreats, Silvia led us through group workshops such as regression to the inner child, going to the root cause of traumas, understanding the victim mindset, cancelling unconscious contracts, reconnecting with our power, breaking soul ties, and releasing negative attachments from our body.

We begin this conversation by talking about Silvia’s ADD, her strange intuitions as a child, how she became interested in psychology, and about being a conscious medium. I ask about my lack of visions on ayahuasca. Can someone get better from an ayahuasca experience even without vision and insight? What is the future of the relation between human and nature? We talk about past and future lives and their connection with ayahuasca. Are there cases where ayahuasca can amplify someone’s ego, or harm them?

Dr Aaron Zimmerman is professor of physics at the University of Texas at Austin, researcher at the LIGO gravitational wave detector, and our speaker from episode 8. He speaks here about how an expedition was undertaken during the eclipse of 1919, to show evidence for Einstein’s theory of gravity. He then talks about the phenomenon of gravitational lensing, and the black hole at the center of our galaxy.

‘All the meds I was on for eight years through the VA did nothing for me whatsoever. From what I know now, psychedelic treatment is the number one way to treat PTSD in veterans. I did that stuff, and the next day I had my life back.’

In this final episode, veteran Albert shares his struggles with physical and mental trauma throughout his life and career, and how he received a surprising amount of healing from ibogaine treatment, through our psychedelic research study.

‘This anger started coming over me, and I didn’t know what it was. As it reached an uncontrollable boiling point, it all came back to me. My step-grandfather had molested me and my handicapped sister. I got out my gun to kill him, then realized that he was already dead. So I wanted to blow out my own brains, and right then came a knock on my door, where nobody ever visits.

‘I didn’t make it to my social security office appointment at 9. At 9.02, it was bombed. 168 dead. When my paramedic student reached there to help, she was given a bucket to pick up body parts. Months later I went for that appointment to a different office. I was there for 2 minutes when I blacked out. Next moment I woke in the parking lot, and there was an explosion in my head, blood red, body parts flying towards me. That’s when it clicked.’

In this second part, Albert shares two mysterious stories of synchronicities that saved his life. In the first story, a lifeguard who he had a crush on was led by a mysterious mind voice to his doorstep in one of the lowest moments of his life. In the second, a chance phone call pulls him away from the Oklahoma City bombing, but months later the explosion strikes again, inside his mind.

‘I went down to the train tracks, and heard someone walking up behind me. I turned around. They both had bows and arrows with real razor hunting tips. “You’re our prisoner now”, they said, and started walking me to the train underpass. I knew in my heart that if I went there, I would not come out alive.’

Albert Hobaugh is a retired special agent, tactical operator, EMT-Paramedic and combat instructor. He was a U.S. Army Ranger and a federal investigator and undercover agent. He is the author of ‘Blacksheep Ghost: The early years: The Life and Making of a Special Agent’. Albert’s journey through PTSD and neurological trauma led him to seek an ibogaine treatment study at our psychedelics research center.

Here Albert shares his surprising and unusual life story: the difficult and adventurous story of his childhood and youth.

‘I saw dead bodies, rotting and smelling in the heat. I realized that they had not been collected because there were mines planted all around, and I was walking through them.

‘The military found out that I was involved in secret anti-regime propaganda, and sent me to the war front. One night a rocket dropped on us. The shrapnel chopped the head off a running boy, but he kept on running without his head.

‘I was setting fire to a shop as a political protest, but the petrol got on my shoes and I caught fire as well. They arrested us and gave us 75 lashes with a hard rubber radiator tube. They took us prisoners to a big public prayer by a mullah, where I saw my father. I stood up and started challenging the mullah. They beat us and took us to a bigger prison where the in-charge molested the younger prisoners, and insects from the rubbish crawled over us all the time. They made us watch as they hanged our friends. As I was leaving after my year-long sentence, a guy at the prison entrance happened to see me and sent me back for one more year.

‘This girl and I were stopped and searched while driving with anti-regime leaflets. I was arrested again and given a death sentence.’

Hussein shares with me the stories of his rough childhood in Iran, fighting in the Iran-Iraq war, being imprisoned and sentenced to death for his anti-regime activities, and his harrowing odyssey to flee Iran through four countries with fake documents.

‘I have narcolepsy. Sometimes in sleep paralaysis, I hallucinate that my visual world is split. The left side is reality, and the right side is a bad dream, and I am sliding towards it.

‘I met this blind woman who at some point started hallucinating technicolor light, then started seeing her hand as she waved it across her face, then other objects. I ran experiments, and her brain images looked similar to those of a sighted person looking at the same objects.’

Dr Jesse Breedlove studies mental imagery and hallucinations. We first talk about her own narcolepsy and sleep paralysis experiences. Then she describes her experiments on a blind lady with non-optic sight, the blindsight on ibogaine phenomenon from the previous episode, and her theory for what’s going on here. Then we talk about stretching the definition of ‘vision’, the pushback in the scientific community against such phenomena, and about neurodivergence.

‘The traditional ibogaine ceremony of eating the ground root bark is a rite of passage for all males in the Bwiti tribe. They use it as an oracle. We have adapted it as a treatment for the diseases of the western developed world, like PTSD, trauma and depression. When an 18 year-old enlists in the military and conducts sanctioned violence for 20 years, they sometimes can’t get out and live a normal life without these psychedelic interventions.

‘On ibogaine, the participant often perceives that they can see through their closed eyelids and the eyeshade. I see them starting to peek through the eyeshade, and wave their hands in front of them to verify, and there’s disbelief at first. It can feel like a superpower, but also terrifying, because you can no longer hide from your visions. You can also see beings you know, or humanoid creatures. The ibogaine can also take on a voice and an entity that can be in dialogue and answer questions. And you can experience a life review, like a projected home movie, with your life memories and trauma.

‘I myself experienced being able to see the room through closed eyes and eyeshades, then I saw a six-foot-tall humanoid with a goat head. I could walk around and look away and look back, and it was exactly where and how it should be in 3D. These beings will often tend to you for the entire visionary experience.

‘The ibogaine asked me if I wanted to know how I would die. I am a death doula and comfortable around my own death. I said no, because I don’t want it to take away the surprise. It said, good answer, and moved on.’

Colm Walker is a veteran and the executive director of The Mission Within psychedelic retreat, where the patients we are studying at our Center for Psychedelic Research and Therapy (at the University of Texas at Austin) go for their ibogaine and psilocybin treatment. He shares his background and a description of their program, and what a typical ibogaine experience is like. Then we talk about a strange phenomenon that is allegedly common on ibogaine: being able to see through closed eyes and an eye mask, and we discuss the prospect of seriously scientifically studying it.