In this episode, Julie explores a phrase that echoes through early learning environments every day: "Say sorry." While apologies are often well-intentioned, Julie invites listeners to look beyond the automatic response and consider a deeper question: What are children actually learning in these moments?

Through a neurodiversity-informed and trauma-informed lens, Julie examines the difference between compliance and connection, highlighting how meaningful relational repair helps children develop empathy, accountability, perspective-taking, emotional awareness, and a sense of belonging. She challenges educators to move beyond assumptions such as "they know better" and instead explore the skills, understanding, and support children may still need.

This thoughtful conversation offers practical strategies for supporting authentic repair in early learning environments while encouraging educators to reflect on their own relationship with apologies and conflict.

The episode closes with an invitation for Ontario resource consultants to join ECRCNO at ecrcno.ca.

Resources Mentioned

• Early Childhood Resource Consultant Network of Ontario (ECRCNO)

Connect with ECRCNO

If you're a Resource Consultant, Inclusion Facilitator, or inclusion professional supporting children and families across Ontario, consider becoming a member of the Early Childhood Resource Consultant Network of Ontario. Membership provides opportunities for professional learning, collaboration, networking, and connection with colleagues across the province.

Learn more at: ECRCNO

This episode has Amelia Rupsys, current president of the ECRCNO explores why early childhood strategies sometimes fail and how consultants can better support educator teams through change without oversimplifying it. It introduces the Lippitt-Knoster model, which says successful change needs vision, skills, incentives, resources, and an action plan, with missing elements showing up as confusion, anxiety, resistance, frustration, or false starts.

An example of persistent peer conflict shows how a room’s physical layout undermined a plan, shifting “resistance” into communication about environmental barriers. The script emphasizes curiosity-driven consultation, asking what feels difficult and what’s realistic, using invited modeling to make strategies concrete, and creating simple action plans with clear responsibilities. It also notes leadership and supervisory framing can affect implementation and highlights consultants’ ethical accountability to children’s safety, dignity, and belonging.

The episode closes with an invitation for Ontario resource consultants to join ECRCNO at ecrcno.ca.

00:00 Why Strategies Fail

00:54 Change Is Personal

01:28 Lippitt Knoster Model

02:49 Diagnosing Pushback

03:12 Room Layout Example

04:58 Pushback As Communication

05:32 Consult With Curiosity

06:22 Modeling In Practice

07:10 Simple Action Plans

08:50 Systems And Leadership

09:16 Ethics And Accountability

10:34 Reflection And Wrap Up

In this episode of The Resource Table (ECRCNO), Sheri, current Director of the Central Region explores self-regulation, co-regulation, and behavior in Ontario’s early years settings, emphasizing a shift from stopping behavior to understanding the stress and internal experiences driving it. Drawing on Dr. Stuart Shanker’s five domains - biological, emotional, cognitive, social, and pro-social, the conversation frames behavior as communication and clarifies that self-regulation is not compliance and can fluctuate for children and adults.

The episode highlights co-regulation as the foundation of self-regulation and stresses.

• connection before correction
• regulation before reasoning
• safety before problem-solving

Sheri notes that educator regulation and well-being are essential when supporting children with developing self-regulation skills. She outlines supportive adjustments such as reducing sensory demands, using visuals and predictable routines, simplifying instructions, offering movement breaks, and scaffolding social experiences.

The episode closes with an invitation for Ontario resource consultants to join ECRCNO at ecrcno.ca.

00:00 Welcome and Topic

01:41 Look Beneath Behavior

03:03 What Self Regulation Means

04:30 Co Regulation Foundations

06:07 Behavior as Communication

07:52 Five Domains Overview

08:09 Biological Stressors

09:42 Emotional Domain and Adult Wellbeing

11:19 Cognitive Overload Supports

12:32 Social and Pro Social Skills

14:43 Shifting Practice and Key Takeaways

17:12 Closing and Membership Invite