To each person who listens to this episode, I'll nod approvingly in whatever direction I think you are relative to me. Because I actually care about my listeners.

Every episode of this show is over budget because I have to use special production techniques to hide the fact that I'm actually just an infant crying and screaming and not an adult man with thoughts. There are plugins for this.

My life is just like a movie (Gremlins 2: The New Batch, 1990)

This episode is rated R for Rude.

My commentary track for the Blu-Ray deluxe edition release of this episode will be me re-enacting the podcast in reverse to see if the two tracks cancel out into silence. I know they won't but I have to do it. I have to do it.

A new episode of the Purgatory Podcast? No one's spoken that name in years. Is this "episode" in the room with us right now?

This episode brought to you by the weird but really interesting gas smell in my home.

The first five listeners of this episode shall never again know peace, and will be haunted by specters lurking in the dark corners of their bedroom each night. The sixth listener gets an Applebees gift card.