Sex, Drugs, & Sound Bowls | Season 2, Episode 2

*TRIGGER
WARNING*

This is an episode all about unpacking sexual trauma. No gruesome details, but storied expression and feels. It journeys through the shadowlands and lands in the valley of GRACE and gratitude <3 If you're here with me, I'm so sorry it's been hard, and I'm so happy we found each other <3

Shiiiiiiiit I keep almost deleting it. We’ll see if/how long I can handle it here. It feels naked and messy and awkward. But I think that's because healing IS a little naked and awkward and messy. Whatever it is, it for sure isn’t linear. I've come to know it as the spiral dance of life. Each time we come back around to the sticky spots, we are invited to navigate with more and more compassion, awareness, wisdom, and grace.

It's been a while since I felt the residual energy of past trauma in my body, yet here it is, showing up in strange places once again. Instead of holding it in this time, I'm sharing it. And instead of feeling defeated, I feel excited. Because I know how much I've grown through. How much I've brought into the light. I know the power I have to alchemize and get a little freer with each dissolved layer of trauma in these cells. I know that these sticky spots rearing their heads are the guardians and secret keepers of my body and always have something valuable to show me about myself.

In this episode I share different stories as gateways to my own awakening. I honor the power of forgetting, and the power of remembering. The power of allowing myself to be messy, and also of taking ownership and responsibility for my part in the dance.

The inability to push or rush or mentally force my own healing has been one of the most difficult things to navigate on my journey and also one of the most radically freeing.

Taking back my power has meant so many things in this life: Recognizing my own role in playing out old patterns and paradigms. Normalizing trauma amnesia aka forgetting until it is safe enough to remember, weird kinks aka exploring kinks as literal energetic kinks in the hose of my energetic body, and rewriting/rewiring the story of love into something SAFE.

Even as I finished this episode I felt myself flooded with so much hope, gratitude, love, and healing. Bless that those same waves wash over you dear one! Bless that you remember that no matter how ugly or deep or bloody your wounds are, they are never too much. You are never too much. There is always hope. You are worthy of healing, and honey, you do not have to go it alone.

Connect with me! In the comments, socials or by email: sexdrugsandsoundbowls@gmail.com

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⚠️ Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and harm-reduction purposes only. I am not encouraging or advocating the use of any illegal substances. No substances were consumed during the making of this episode. Altered states--whether achieved through breathwork, drumming, or plant medicines--can impact perception and decision-making. Exploring these realms without proper guidance, preparation, and integration support can be dangerous. Please journey responsibly and in alignment with your own truth, safety, and sovereignty.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Vipassana Meditationdhamma.org

KCSARC — King County Sexual Assault Resource Center

kcsarc.org

The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk

Free with Libby app (library card) · libbyapp.com

The Biology of Belief — Bruce Lipton

Free with Libby app (library card) · libbyapp.com