The Ninth Day of Christmas - Secrets, Santa
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Richie Buck’s time at the North Pole is running out, but the deeper he digs, the stranger - and darker - everything becomes. At the urging of Cam D. Kain, the head of the ELF-BI, Richie is taken to a fenced-in wasteland known as the Blandfill, a desolate dumping ground where old toys, forgotten gifts, and waddling penguins replace the seagulls and garbage of a normal landfill.
There, Richie discovers something that rocks his understanding of both Santa and Ruthie Barker Guest: decades’ worth of Christmas presents that Santa never delivered to her. Every year since 1985, her gifts wound up abandoned in the Blandfill instead of under her tree. Each box is tagged, wrapped, and rejected. But why? And what did Santa know?
More unsettling truths emerge as Richie visits the Claus compound, where Mrs. Claus - Karen - is far younger than expected, brutally honest, and surprisingly fed up. She walks Richie through Santa’s actual workshop: a joyless, industrial factory where conveyor belts replace carols and overworked elves churn out toys like machinery. Then, over mistletoe malt beers, she drops the biggest bombshell yet: Ruthie Barker Guest wasn’t just some disgruntled grandma… she and Santa had a history. The kind you don’t write in Christmas cards.
With every revelation, the story lurches further away from the innocent holiday tale Richie thought he was living, and closer to something messy, human, and dangerous. If Santa was set up, someone wanted him buried. But if he wasn’t…
Richie picks up the mysterious gift he smuggled out of the Blandfill and finally answers the question he’s been avoiding:
What’s inside Ruthie Barker Guest’s final present?
It's like Santa Claus. As a suspect. On Dateline. In the South.
Cast: Richie Buck - Jason Usry Santa Claus - Pat Picone Cameron D. Kane - Tim Pilleri Mayor P.P. Patenaude - Lance Reenstierna Mrs. Karen Claus - Laura Anderson
Head Elf, Jason Usry Co-Executive Elves: Rebekah Sebastian, Dr. Shiloh Catanese, Dr. Scott Musgrove, and Michelle Kaz. Santa Maybe, a Criminal is written and produced by Jason Usry Music and Sound FX sourced through Epidemic Sound, Soundstripe, Audiio, Universal Music for Creators and more. Additional music and atmospheres provided by Captain Fathands. Follow the show on social media: X - @santamaybe Facebook - @SantaMaybePodcast Web - santamaybe.com
Until next time: BE NICE