UFC is taking another break, this time for Labor Day. Our analysts are all here to give you a rousing blend of snark, disdain, and unadulterated apathy. This week’s awful fights is the triumvirate of heavyweight hopefuls. The fights come from UFC on ESPN+ 9, UFC Fight Night 82: Hendricks vs. Thompson, and UFC 120, with the events respective to the order…

UFC Shanghai is your classic mixed bag with a few good fights among a sea of regional level fodder. The main event should actually be Ortega vs. Sterling but we get why it’s Walker vs. Zhang. Why Kavanagh vs. Johnson isn’t on the main card is the card’s greatest mystery and just seems wrong on every level. But we’ve come to expect oddities like these. A…

UFC 319 had some great moments leading up to the main event with several highlight reel finishes. Anthony Hernandez putting a surprise whooping on Chase Hooper, Joseph Morales making his second stint in the UFC count in a big way, Oleksiejczuk and Susurkaev both getting the job done inside the distance, as well. The prelims were definitely to be celebrated.

When we got to the main card, we were on a nice little adrenaline high, and here comes Tim Elliott taking out Kai Asakura like the stealthy spoiler he is. What are we to do with Kai after this? Carlos Prates put the nicotine beating on Geoff Neal and Lerone Murphy sent the angels out with their bugles for poor Aaron Pico.

And then there was the ugliest main event to ever exist. Was Chimaev dominant? Yes he was. Did he even try to press further for a finish? No he did not. Was Dricus fighting like he was just pulled from the 7-Eleven? Yes he was. Am I excited by the prospect of Khamzat dominating the division? Hell no, but here we are with a stinker of a main event and a new champ that looks like he’s afraid to do a single thing outside his comfortable wheelhouse. Now, let’s check out the rest of the results and bonuses while we’re here.

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UFC 319 Results

* 185 lbs.: Dricus du Plessis vs. Khamzat Chimaev — Chimaev def. Du Plessis by unanimous decision (50-44, 50-44, 50-44)

* 145 lbs.: Aaron Pico vs. Lerone Murphy — Murphy def. Pico by KO (spinning back elbow), round 1 (3:21)

* 170 lbs.: Geoff Neal vs. Carlos Prates — Prates def. Neal by KO (spinning back elbow), round 1 (4:59)

* 185 lbs.: Jared Cannonier vs. Michael Page — Page def. Cannonier by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Tim Elliott vs. Kai Asakura — Elliott def. Asakura by submission (mounted guillotine), round 2 (4:39)

* 185 lbs.: Baisangur Susurkaev vs. Eric Nolan — Susurkaev def. Nolan by submission (rear naked choke), round 2 (2:01)

* 185 lbs.: Gerald Meerschaert vs. Michał Oleksiejczuk — Oleksiejczuk def. Meerschaert by TKO (punches), round 1 (3:03)

* 125 lbs.: Jessica Andrade vs. Lupita Godinez — Godinez def. Andrade by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 155 lbs.: Alexander Hernandez vs. Chase Hooper — Hernandez def. Hooper by TKO (punches), round 1 (4:58)

* 155 lbs.: Edson Barboza vs. Drakkar Klose — Klose def. Barboza by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Karine Silva vs. Dione Barbosa — Silva def. Barbosa by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Alibi Idiris vs. Joseph Morales — Morales def. Idiris by submission (triangle), round 2 (3:04)

UFC 319 Bonuses

* FOTN: None

* POTN: Tim Elliott, Lerone Murphy, Carlos Prates, Khamzat Chimaev

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