
The Lie We Tell Parents: Erica Komisar on Sacrifice, Stress & Raising Resilient Kids
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Is the modern parenting playbook failing us?
In this powerful and thought-provoking episode of UNLOCKED, Krista Franks sits down with psychoanalyst and author Erica Komisar, a bold voice challenging how society is raising its children—and what it’s doing to our mental health.
Erica unpacks the myths we've been sold about motherhood, resilience, and career ambition—and reveals the neurological consequences of early childhood stress, emotional neglect, and fractured family dynamics.
Whether you're a parent, future parent, leader, or simply someone trying to live with more intention, this conversation will shift your perspective—and maybe even change how you live.
Episode Summary
02:45 - Why parents today are exhausted and overwhelmed
03:13 - The myth of “having it all” and the cost of two full-time jobs
07:50 - Lifestyle inflation and how children become the collateral
10:20 - Why you *can* have it all—but not all at once
14:30 - Erica’s career decisions and choosing work that fits family
18:45 - Babies are NOT resilient: the science of early brain development
21:40 - How parenting literally wires the brain—for life
25:45 - What if I missed the first 3 years? Can you repair it?
28:20 - What are we *really* aiming for as parents?
30:25 - The truth behind the “quality time” myth
34:00 - Defining what it *actually* means to give your kids a good life
36:15 - Divorce, narcissism, and raising kids in two homes
40:45 - Erica’s final thoughts on intentional parenting
42:20 - Where to find Erica and her upcoming work
About Erica Komisar
Erica Komisar, LCSW is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of private practice experience in New York City. A graduate of Georgetown University, Columbia University, and the New York Freudian Society, Erica brings her expertise to parenting workshops across clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings.
She is a regular contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News, and serves as a Contributing Editor at the Institute for Family Studies. Erica also appears regularly on Fox & Friends and Fox 5 News.
She is the author of two books:
📘 Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
📘 Chicken Little, The Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety
Connect with Erica
Website: https://www.ericakomisar.com/
Erica's Non Profit Organization: https://www.attachmentcircles.org/
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