Michelle sits down with menopause doula Traci Thrash (The Change Doula) for a wide-ranging, no-filter conversation about perimenopause brain fog, what pleasure actually means outside of sex, the asexual/demisexual spectrum, the Wheel of Consent, autonomy in long-term relationships, and the HRT and lifestyle tools they swear by.

Traci is a menopause doula based outside Madison, Wisconsin. She supports women in perimenopause, menopause, and midlife through 1:1 work and group programs, focusing on connection and community as much as education. Find her at https://www.thechangedoulas.com/.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

• What a "menopause doula" actually does

• Why community — not just information — is what people are craving in midlife

• Redefining "pleasure" and "desire" as words that don't have to mean sex

• Soft Cock Week and reframing what counts as a "real" sexual experience

• Michelle's story of realizing she's asexual/gray-sexual at 47

• Demisexuality, gray-sexual, and "nebulosexual" — labels that helped both of them make sense of their experiences

• The Wheel of Consent and why receiving a genuine "no" can be the deepest form of intimacy

• Autonomy, relationship anarchy, and not needing total overlap with a partner

• The "rope widow" season — staying close while pursuing very different interests

• Why empowerment narratives for older women default to sex, and what's missing from that picture

• HRT journeys, finding a doctor who actually listens, and favorite midlife self-care finds

  
  

  Resources & Mentions

• Wheel of Consent framework (Betty Martin)

• Estrogen Matters — book on HRT and breast cancer risk

• The Slow Moon Climbs by Susan P. Mattern — anthropological look at menopause

• MIDI Health — telehealth HRT provider

• Vulva Balm by Medicine Mama — for labial/vulvar dryness

• Fiber gummies (Metamucil, Miralax-style) for midlife gut health

• Dual-zone heated mattress pad — relationship-saving bedroom hack

  
  

  If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

  
  

  To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

  
  

  Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

Michelle sits down with Jake Apton, a porn performer, stripper, cosplayer, and self-described "big fucking nerd" she briefly met at the AVN Expo in January but never really got to know. What starts as a tour of Jake's deeply personal tattoo collection quickly opens into a wide-ranging conversation about building a life and career in sex work, navigating identity and attraction as a gay man who "doesn't read gay," the surprising overlap between anime convention culture and adult entertainment, and what it means to reclaim your relationship with your own libido. They play a few rounds of We're Not Really Strangers, swap stories about armpits (yes, really), and land in unexpectedly tender territory about friend breakups, depression, and the people in your life who aren't "people." Those are the ones you can just sit on a couch with and not say a word. A warm, unscripted, delightfully wide-open conversation with someone Michelle barely knew before hitting record and now kind of feels like she does.

Jake Apton is a porn performer, exotic dancer, cosplayer, and content creator based in New York City. You can find all his links at https://lnk.bio/jcapwolf.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off