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They vanished for two months—and no, they weren’t in rehab (probably). But now the boys are BACK, and chaos reigns supreme in Episode 197 of The Funky Panther. Think less "warm reunion" and more "group therapy session with snacks and sarcasm."

Chad and Tim crawl out from their academic hellholes to humblebrag about finals, while Javier dives into the emotional minefield of health woes, family drama, and the eternal quest for a ‘Good Job, Son’ from a dad who thinks feelings are for communists.

Just when you think it can’t get weirder, a random 17-year-old named Maddox calls in live to ask if Eminem is still relevant—and shocker, we actually had thoughts. Cue the hot takes and hip-hop nostalgia.

Then comes the real test of friendship: Chinese snacks. Spicy konjac strips? Hawthorne fruit bars? Sounds cute until your taste buds file a formal complaint. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you might even order a mystery snack box out of morbid curiosity.

We sprinkle in sports rants, rage against scalpers, and finish with a necro-courtroom drama starring a medieval pope who literally dug up a corpse to win an argument.

This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a barely contained meltdown wrapped in nostalgia and dipped in absurdity. #DeadPopesAndKonjac #PodcastChaos #EmotionalDamage #HipHopHotTakes #SnackAttackShowdown

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Buckle the f*ck up, because The Funky Panther just dropped an episode that smells like incense, ego death, and pure audio chaos. Musician and part-time sweat demon Ben C Jones is back—flexible, funky, and freshly cooked from his daily 105-degree hot yoga cult. Spoiler: his chakras are aligned, his joints are loose, and he might’ve accidentally joined a tantric death spiral. Enlightenment optional.

While Ben’s finding nirvana in a puddle of his own BO, Chad escapes Fort Worth and dives straight into Asia’s adult playground—Macau and Hong Kong. Between gambling dens, dice games in back-alley bars, and Portuguese bartenders with loose morals, it’s a travelogue that sounds more like a deleted scene from The Hangover 4: Oriental Express.

Then it gets extra spicy—the gang breaks down Blue Origin’s girlboss space cruise, featuring Katy Perry floating around like it’s a zero-G makeup ad. Are these pop stars actually astronauts—or just influencers with rocket-fueled privilege? The debate spirals into capitalism, space pollution, and how much they’d personally fork over to escape this flaming meatball of a planet… for eleven goddamn minutes.

Meanwhile, Ben teases his new psych-rock masterpiece, dropping May 23rd via Amplify 817. It’s like Pink Floyd, Tame Impala, and your weird stoner cousin had a baby and let it record itself in a home studio filled with lava lamps and vintage trauma. Don’t sleep on the June 13th album release party at The Post—expect killer vibes, musical therapy, and maybe a few mild hallucinations.

The episode ends with nuclear-grade “Bad Takes” that’ll piss off astronauts, yogis, and probably your mom. Plus, an “Overrated vs. Underrated” segment that drags Spotify and worships the holy gospel of local music legends.

June 13th. The Post. Ben C Jones, Richer Hall, Dave Cave, and Reagan Beard. It’s not just a show—it’s a sonic exorcism. Be there or stay basic.

#SexSweatSpace #BenCJones #HotYogaCult #SpaceTourismScam #KatyPerryInSpace #MacauMayhem #TheFunkyPanther #Amplify817 #PsychedelicRockRevival #BadTakesOnly #ZeroGravityEgos

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You’re gonna die someday—might as well make it count. In this brutally honest episode, we talk with Kevin, a tissue procurement specialist (yes, that’s a real job), who spends his days elbow-deep in the stuff you leave behind when you check that little box on your driver’s license. Spoiler: he’s not here to steal your kidneys in a back alley—he’s here to save lives.

From slinging HDMI cables at Best Buy to preserving human limbs with surgical precision, Kevin breaks down what really happens after you flatline. Forget the myths: doctors won’t pull the plug early if you’re a donor, your casket can stay open for the viewing, and no, your tattoos don’t make your organs goth rejects.

We also hit some cold, hard facts: someone in Texas joins the transplant waitlist every nine minutes, and 17 people die each day because there’s not enough to go around. Still think your spleen’s too special to share?

And just when you thought this episode couldn’t get more unexpected—Kevin also flexes his Rangers pride, immortalized in World Series tattoos and childhood memories of his baseball-loving grandpa. Death, donations, and dingers? We cover it all.

If you’ve got a pulse, you need to hear this. If you don’t—well, Kevin might be on his way.
#DeadButUseful #OrganDonationTruths #TexasTransplantCrisis #FunkyPantherPodcast #RangersInkAndOrgans

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What do you get when three degenerates dig up cringey home videos, debate astronaut nut trajectories, and confess to hoarding junk like emotional support USB cables? Pure, unfiltered chaos—welcome to The Funky Panther.

Javier stumbles upon a camcorder from his hormone-riddled youth and unleashes footage so humiliating it should be classified under the Geneva Convention. Naturally, this spirals into a confessional about the crap we cling to for no reason—shoeboxes, old tech, and probably some repressed trauma. Oh, and let’s not forget the cursed GoPro currently marinating in Lake Texoma that allegedly holds footage too spicy for YouTube.

Then it gets weirder. The guys dive into NASA’s recent astronaut rescue, but instead of celebrating science, they spiral into a fever dream of surviving space madness armed only with early-2000s music videos and a questionable Wi-Fi signal. And yes, we go there: bodily fluids in zero gravity. Spoiler alert—it's not as poetic as Interstellar.

Things heat up when the crew debates whether paying $500 to breathe the same air as a celebrity is dumb or dangerously horny. Plus, they test their sanity with “AI or Insane Person?”—because in 2025, your toaster might be smarter (and sassier) than your last Tinder date.

Is talking to your dog cute, or are we just one step away from marrying Alexa? Find out in this gloriously unhinged episode full of hot takes, cold regrets, and existential dread wrapped in a tortilla of dark humor.

#SpaceJizz #CringeCore #AIvsPsycho #FunkyPantherUnleashed #LostFootage #DigitalDumpsterDive

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We've all been there—stomach rumbling, cold sweat forming, and no bathroom in sight. In this episode, we expose our most humiliating, panic-inducing bathroom disasters that will make you grateful for every flushable toilet you've ever encountered. From desperate public dump decisions to fully-naked survival tactics, this is the episode you never knew you needed.

Then, we take a hard left into insanity with the "Brown Note" conspiracy—a sound frequency rumored to make you lose total bowel control. Is it real? Has the military secretly tested it as a weapon? And more importantly, could we use it for evil?

Also in this episode:

• Chad’s Olympic-level ladder-climbing obsession (because why not?)
• Tim’s post-dental drugged-up adventure at Trader Joe’s (bad decisions were made)
• Javier infiltrates the Fort Worth music scene (or does he?)
• Kanye West’s latest Nazi-inspired fashion disaster (yep, he’s still talking)
• Local legend Abraham Alexander gets screwed at the Oscars (Hollywood hates Texas)
• Florida Man swallows $769K in stolen jewelry (because of course he does)

Five years and 193 episodes later, we’re still serving up zero-filter, unhinged conversations that you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a first-time listener, welcome to the wildest corner of the internet.

#PublicPoopHorrors #BrownNoteWeapon #KanyeWest #OscarsAreRigged #FloridaManMadness

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The unthinkable has happened—Luka Dončić has been snatched from the Dallas Mavericks and shipped off to the Lakers, leaving us spiraling into a full-blown existential crisis. But was this just another ruthless NBA business move, or is Mark Cuban playing 4D chess to tank the franchise and relocate to Vegas? The conspiracy theories are flying faster than trade rumors, and we’re here to break it all down—mock funerals, fan meltdowns, and all.

As we wrestle with whether to abandon our beloved Mavs for the Celtics (traitorous, we know), a pregnant stray cat crashes our recording session—because apparently, even animals can sense Dallas’s pain. Meanwhile, airline chaos has us questioning if flying is even worth it anymore. Delta flights flipping? Mid-air collisions? Maybe we should all just stay home.

Oh, and we’re celebrating five years of The Funky Panther! From surviving the pandemic to interviewing a friend who was wrongfully jailed and extradited, we've seen some wild times. Tune in for a raw, hilarious, and slightly unhinged discussion on sports heartbreak, travel paranoia, and the madness of modern life. Hit us up @TheFunkyPanther and let’s commiserate.

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Is your beer stash a sexy investment or just a fridge full of overpriced regrets? We pop open some aged Goose Island Bourbon County Stout to see if beer collecting is a high-class hobby or just a bougie way to justify borderline alcoholism. Jesse’s decluttering tips hit harder than a morning hangover, sparking a debate about what’s worth saving and what needs to be chugged before it goes bad—just like your dreams.

Then, we dive deep into a cowboy kink phase no one asked for. Can you pull off a ten-gallon hat without looking like you cosplay Yellowstone? Probably not, but watching us try is worth it. Somewhere between fashion faux pas and midlife crises, we discover that “hat guy” energy is a slippery slope.

Our weekend recap? Absolute carnage. A near fistfight at a Liverpool-Man United match, a shoegaze meltdown at Tulips, and a bouncer who went from menace to bestie in the span of a mosh pit. Add a potential TikTok ban, new apps designed to steal your soul (looking at you, “Red Note” and “Lemonade”), and the unsettling rise of AI bots that want your face, your job, and possibly your spouse.

If that’s not enough chaos, we roast streaming prices, debate nuclear fission vs. fusion (because we’re fancy like that), and make bold Super Bowl predictions that will probably age like milk. Welcome to 2025—messy, ridiculous, and barely held together by memes and bourbon barrel-aged stout.

#BeerPorn #CowboyKink #AIChaos #TikTokBan #StreamingScam #WTF2025

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$350 champagne with a greasy burger? That’s the kind of culinary anarchy we’re bringing to Episode 190 of The Funky Panther. Mikey finally resurfaces after three years of hiding—probably avoiding our calls—and we’re diving face-first into Fort Worth’s wine scene. Magnolia Wine Bar, 61 Osteria, Bowie House… yeah, we’re basically sommeliers now, except we pair everything with fries. Oh, and did we mention our AI Christmas album? It’s either a masterpiece or a cry for help—jury’s still out.

This episode’s a beautiful dumpster fire of chaos: slap bets, wild bouncer stories, a musician who writes literal poop songs, and our half-baked plan to charm every “Jimmy” in late-night TV into putting us on their shows. We’re also debating natural wine fermentation (spoiler: it’s fancy rot) and dreaming about distilleries because clearly, we don’t drink enough.

As we kick 2024 to the curb, we’re celebrating weddings, Navy dropouts, and career overhauls—all with the kind of reckless humor you’ve come to love (or tolerate). So, grab a drink—or five—and let’s send this trashfire of a year off with the laughter, insanity, and questionable life choices it deserves.

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