What if the question "why don't you have children?" was one you spent your doctorate trying to answer for yourself?

That's exactly what Dr Naomi Menahem did. And what she found wasn't the misery she'd half expected. It was something nuanced and defiant, and ultimately more hopeful.

In Episode 89, Naomi joins us from Byron Bay to share her research on circumstantial childlessness, the concept of the Deferral Iceberg, and why she's chosen "robust pragmatism" over the quiet resignation of "acceptance." She also tells us about Childless Conversation — her new monthly in-person gathering for women who've been silent for too long.

In this episode, Michael, Sarah and Berenice are joined by poet Kate Smith — known on Instagram as Millie the Poet and writing under the name Kathryn Millington — to talk about her poetry pamphlet Imprint (Fawn Press), which explores childlessness, IVF and grief. Kate reads three poems live on the episode and talks candidly about her own fertility journey, the process of writing about deeply personal experience, and what it's meant to bring that work into the world.

Kathryn ‘Millie ’Millington is a poet, performer and activist based in Sheffield. She ran the poetry charity ‘Nine Lives Poetry’, creating a stage for emerging local poets. Millie’s poetry tells us a story of grief as a result of involuntary childlessness.

It takes us on a journey “…into a world that feels niche, but is anything but…” (Wendy Pratt), to a place of acceptance of a future without children and ultimately a creative and fulfilling life. “You will know someone like me. We are everywhere: at your workplace, within your family, and your friendship groups. It’s such a lonely place. I want to inhabit that place and be that voice, to show that we can create.”

Millie has shared the stage with Helen Mort, Michael Pedersen, Toria Garbutt and Leyla Josephine. Her poem ‘Imprint’ was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize. Her debut Pamphlet ‘Imprint’ received praise from Benjamin Zephaniah "I have no words, because you've used them all".

Millie is published by Fawn Press and her poetry is available to buy online. You can also buy direct from her, pop her a message via Instagram @‌milliethepoet or email‍ ‍

• The Ode Less Travelled’ by Stephen Fry

• How to Grow your Own Poem’ by Kate Clanchy

• The Artists Way’ by Julia Cameron Workshops

• Laurie Bolger has a website and is on Instagram Laurie Bolger

• Marjorie Lotfi: Marjorie’s Table is a morning writing workshop which really helps me generate ideas Marjorie’s Table | Substack

• Verve Poetry Press run regular online workshops with poets. VERVE Poetry Autumn Workshop Series 2026

• The Arvon Foundation run amazing residential courses which are expensive but transformative. They also run online workshops and short courses. Creative Writing Courses at Arvon

• Wendy Pratt is a childless poet. Her book ‘When I think of My Body as a Horse’ is incredible. You can follow her on Substack and Instagram. Notes From the Margin with Wendy Pratt | Substack and @‌wendyprattauthor

• Ada Limón ‘The Carrying’ is a beautiful and emotional collection about infertility. You can follow her on Instagram @‌adalimonwriter

• Hollie McNish is a great poet; she writes about contemporary often female issues (but also about being a mum so you may wish to avoid). @‌Holliepoetry