Its not going to work.

The quiet pressure you (or others) put on you to remain high vibe, optimistic and positive, while things could be feeling heavy, clunky, or uncertain.

Look at the silver lining.
Focus on the positive.
Look on the bright side.

These won't work for you while you're carrying so much, and holding yourself together.

Instead whats going to happen, is youre going to feel pressure.

The more you force yourself into a positive state and mindset, and the more you notice it not working, the more you will feel like crap.

All the while youre teaching your body that these heavier (and very valid) emotions arent welcome...leaving your body to think "I am only safe when I feel good"

Nah...you dont want that.

You dont want to teach your body emotional surpression...

...you want it to know and understand emotional healthy and mastery, so you can live a life of spaciouness and abundance.

Unhooking yourself from toxic positivity, is about release the pressure to perform. It means letting yourself feel whats true for you, and decoding it all.

Its about increasing your capacity (so you can hold MORE).

We dive into this convo inside todays episode.

I hope it serves you, and that you gently release that pressure youve been putting on yourself.

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I've been thinking about something a lot lately.

There's this really specific kind of frustration that happens when trying harder used to work… and now it just doesn't.

Like you know how to be disciplined. You know how to show up. You've done hard things before. You've built things before. You're not new to effort.

But lately it feels like you're putting in the same energy and getting half the movement. Or you're pushing and instead of momentum, you just feel more tired. And that's the part that's unsettling.

Because if effort has always been your safety net, your identity, the thing that made you capable… what does it mean when it stops working?

I see so many women quietly turn this inward.

They start wondering if they've gotten lazy. If they've lost their drive. If they just need to get it together.

But what if that's not what's happening at all.

What if trying harder isn't working because you're not lacking discipline… you're lacking capacity.

Effort works beautifully when there's space inside you to receive the results of that effort. When your nervous system isn't already overloaded. When you're not carrying layers of responsibility, emotion, identity shifts, invisible labor.

If you've been holding a lot for a long time, pushing more doesn't create progress. It creates pressure.

And pressure doesn't build. It braces.

Sometimes when effort stops working, it's not a sign to double down. It's a sign that your system is asking for room to breathe.

You don't need to prove you still have it in you. You don't need to earn your rest by collapsing first.

It might just be that this season requires something different. Not more force. More space.

I talk about this more deeply in this week's podcast episode, but I just wanted to say this here in case you needed to hear it.

Nothing is wrong with you. You're not behind.

You might just be full.

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From the outside, my life looked great...

...even looking at it myself, I could say it was great.

I had just had a baby,
I was running a successful business,
I was living in a beautiful part of the world,

It looked great.

But truthfully, I was struggling big time.

Yes. I had all that I had once wished for, but holding it all was exhausting me.

I was going through the biggest identity shift I will ever go through, the maiden to mother shift.

I was also very plugged into my business, which was doing well, but the structure of it wasnt working for my new role as a mother.

I was in the middle of shedding friendships, while also making new ones.

I was holding a lot, and coming apart at the seams.

I felt so guilty and shameful, that I wasnt feeling grateful every second of the day.

I beat myself up, saying to myself "you should be happy, look at what you have"

And that shame only only added to the internal chaos I was feeling.

Until I stopped, and gave myself permission to feel this heaviness and surrender to it.

It was ok. It was ok to have my inner and outer worlds misaligned right now.

Of course it was hard to enjoy what was right in front of me, when I was carrying a lot which came with a bunch of heavy sensations and feelings. I was at capcity, with no room for anything else.

And when I gave myself that permission, I felt a sense of relief. A big exhale.

There was nothing wrong with me. I wasnt ungrateful or numb to what I had.

I just needed sapce to process everything, and release a lot of emotion, so I could finally fully enjoy the beauty right in front of me.

If you relate to this, let me know. Youre not alone.

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