Lots of people will be flying the holiday season. But do you who travels ALL the time? Musicians. Life on the road isn't all limos, hookers, and blow. Believe. It's trying to find creative new ways to keep the airline baggage handlers from destroying your instrument every time you hop on an airplane. Musician Ted Wulfers is learning this lesson the hard way after his prized guitar recently got manhandled by an airline. Now he's up to his eyeballs in formal complaints and it remains to be seen if they will take responsibility and make him whole again. Ted joins us to share his story and give some advice as for how to protect your guitar on the road. Is it too much to ask to have the people we entrust to get us there in one piece also get our instruments to the same place in the same number of pieces? Happy holidays from The Dumbest Story of the Week!

It's the holiday season once again and just as Ralphie Parker learned in A Christmas Story, you never bend the knee to a bully like Scut Farkus. And we're looking at you, Northwestern University. As it turns out, female dogs are much more observant than male dogs. And we're looking at you, male humans. Pete Hegseth is in increasingly deep water with his murderous boat attacks in the Caribbean. but there isn't a bus that Donald Trump won't throw anyone under. And we're looking at you, Admiral Frank "Mitch" Bradley. You're about to become familiar with the underside of a big, orange bus. Experts are giving humanity two years before AI takes over, but we can fight our AI overlords with poetry and em dashes. And it turns out that 'phone sober' may be more beneficial than sober sober.

The Epstein Files strike back and MAGA has decided that the right play is to defend pedophiles. Sounds about right. It took the Democrats five days to squander their blue wave momentum, and that might be a new record. The government is no longer shutdown, at the cost of your weed gummies. Kim Davis of Kentucky, the dowdiest of Kim Davises, loses again and gay Americans can continue to get married. For now. We live in a world where artist that don't exist can have a #1 song. What is the preferred duration for sexytimes? It's shorter than you think. Kim Kardashian is big mad at psychics who told her that she would pass the bar exam. Trump wants to name an NFL stadium after himself, and the U.S. Treasury wants to put his face on both sides of a coin. Heads he wins, tails we lose.

A rogue blue wave strikes American and Republicans are Big Sad about it. Dick Cheney dies and perhaps meets the hundreds of thousands of humans killed in the unnecessary war he started, The president of the United States fights to not feed his constituents. Lauren Boebert wears a racist Halloween costume but wasn't invited to Trump's Great Gatsby ball. Let them eat ballrooms, I guess. A jury found Sandwich Guy to be not guilty, serving justice in a delicious manner. RIP to The Farmers' Almanac. The Edmund Fitzgerald sunk 50 years ago November 10th. A Utah Republican wants to ban all porn. One Mississippi monkey remains free. And a picture of a useless Donald Trump doing what he does best is worth well over a thousand words.