Welcome to the fascist American future, where state-sponsored violence is the only law that matters. Now that the Proud Boys are collecting ICE signing bonuses, they’ve executed yet another American citizen in broad daylight and the MAGA crowd is suddenly opposed to the 2 Amendment. RIP Alex Pretti. Greg Bovino gets himself demoted, but fear not! Tom “bags of cash” Homan is on the case. Ohio’s Stage Right Theatrics thinks that the theater isn’t conservative enough, and I will bet they have some different ideas about how to solve a problem like Maria. Donald Trump makes an ass of himself at Davos because he doesn’t know the difference between Iceland and Greenland. Not that it seems to matter. Airlines experiment with “densified” seating. Old guys don’t like rock & roll. Stephen Miller thinks that Star Trek is too woke. (Has he ever seen Star Trek?) And Melania Trump rakes in nearly $30 million dollars for her 15 minutes of fame.

"I come from a long line of frontiersman and outdoor types." And that’s a line from one of my favorite movies, which would be The Coen Brothers’ Raising Arizona. It is spoken by the protagonist, H.I. McDunnough. But it could just as easily be about my ancestors, or about me. So, when the National Park Service announced late in 2025 that the National Parks Pass for the new year would feature a picture of Donald Trump alongside George Washington – two presidents who have had nothing to do with America’s beloved national parks, and in the former’s case has gutted the NPS budget – those of us who find solace in America’s wild places were pretty vexed about it. Enter artist and conservationist Jenny McCarty, who quickly conjured an artistic way to speak truth to power – by making stickers that feature original art that can be placed over Trump’s glowering face on the likely-illegal new American The Beautiful Parks Pass design. I invited McCarty to join me for a wonderful conversation about our collective love for the natural world, our disdain for fascists, and how art can save us.

You can buy Jenny McCarty’s National Parks Pass stickers – and lots of other wonderful art at:

www.thesageleafstudio.com

A man who can’t stop invading countries and flipping off his citizens unironically got himself a Nobel Peace Prize. Except unlike Obama, he got a used one on the secondhand market. Reality is in the eye of the beholder in the murder of Renee Good. A man who fomented an insurrection threatens to invoke the Insurrection Act. Pete Hegseth sure does have a perfidy mouth. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's semiautonomous territory. The Pentagon returned some sex toys to a Toronto sex shop - except the sex shop owners weren’t the ones who sent them to soldiers in Bahrain, where you can’t drink, eat pork, or own sex toys. Picking your nose can lead to losing your mind. Drone delivery is coming to a city near you and maybe it’s time to move to Alaska.

ICE is saving us by killing us. That will be sure to keep the immigrants out. (Sarcasm font.) Alabama's governor has opinions about what happened in Minnesota this week. McDonald's is facing a lawsuit over the fact that a McRib sandwich may not have any rib meat. You probably don't want to know what IS in a McRib. A guy in Wales got busted for impersonating an admiral for whatever reason. RIP CPB. The White House launched a new website that clears up who was responsible for the insurrection at the Capital on January 6th, which was merely peaceful people, but who were also riotous Democrats. People are fighting to get on rides at Disneyland. Pete Hegseth is jealous of Mark Kelly. And Donald Trump remembers that he wants Greenland. Truth is dumber than fiction.

Lots of people will be flying the holiday season. But do you who travels ALL the time? Musicians. Life on the road isn't all limos, hookers, and blow. Believe. It's trying to find creative new ways to keep the airline baggage handlers from destroying your instrument every time you hop on an airplane. Musician Ted Wulfers is learning this lesson the hard way after his prized guitar recently got manhandled by an airline. Now he's up to his eyeballs in formal complaints and it remains to be seen if they will take responsibility and make him whole again. Ted joins us to share his story and give some advice as for how to protect your guitar on the road. Is it too much to ask to have the people we entrust to get us there in one piece also get our instruments to the same place in the same number of pieces? Happy holidays from The Dumbest Story of the Week!