Laura returns from Europe with stories of being trapped inside a closed terminal at Charles de Gaulle Airport for seven hours with nothing but a muffin and a few sips of water. Meanwhile, a traveler is caught smuggling 58 live turtles in her tights, Hooters attempts a family-friendly rebrand, and the internet continues to prove that reality is stranger than fiction.

Plus: puffins, birding, a disastrous lash lift, TV hot takes, and why Times Square Margaritaville may be New York City’s greatest hidden gem.

Laura is headed to Cannes and may or may not accidentally end up in White Lotus season 4, the Solidcore guy somehow gets even weirder, and the JP Morgan “cannons” lawsuit continues to spiral into one of the funniest workplace scandals on the internet.

This week, we get into:

• Men paying for fake cauliflower ear surgery
• Robert Pattinson getting ghosted by his own stalker
• Elon Musk losing his OpenAI lawsuit
• The scientifically hottest male dance moves
• Catholic school “mixers”
• A law associate asking if hanging an original Picasso in his office is too obnoxious
• Whispering Angel rosé discourse
• Why women absolutely do NOT want fake cage fighter ears

Plus: ringworm in the Bahamas, White Lotus filming chaos, and the return of “leave room for Jesus.”

Pete Davidson’s breakup is getting messy, cruises are somehow having an even worse week than usual, and Hawaii may have delivered the most satisfying case of instant karma we’ve seen in a while.

This week on Doomscroll Diaries, Mae and Laura discuss:

• Pete Davidson and Elsie Hewitt’s breakup drama
• The viral monk seal incident in Hawaii
• Why some people desperately need to be punched in the face
• A disturbing cruise ship scandal
• Hantavirus panic and internet misinformation
• Why kids should still step in dog poop at least once
• Disney adults and the new Universal Epic Universe park
• Head scarves, laryngitis, and caffeine-free Diet Dr Pepper

This week on The Doomscroll Diaries, Mae and Laura get into the absolutely unhinged JP Morgan lawsuit that’s blowing up online, Emily Blunt getting dragged for wildly out-of-touch career advice, and their chaotic visit to Carl Radke’s NYC sober bar, Soft Bar, where ordering a mocktail somehow became a deeply adversarial experience.

They also break down the latest Summer House drama involving Amanda Batula and West Wilson, reunion leaks, leaked nudes, Bravo conspiracy theories, and the genuinely heartbreaking tragedy that surfaced right before filming the reunion.

Plus: celebrity delusion, expensive mocktails, reality TV discourse, and why “just follow your passion” is maybe not the best advice in 2026.

Follow ⁠@doomscrolldiaries⁠, ⁠@mae_planert⁠, and ⁠@laurasogar⁠, subscribe, and send this to a friend who needs to stay informed (or just entertained).

This week on Doomscroll Diaries, we have questions… and no answers.

Nuclear scientists keep disappearing under very strange circumstances (totally normal), while Mae returns to the ice after 15 years for a true Miracle on Ice… in New Jersey.

Laura reports back from Louisiana, where:

• • Alligators are… kind of cute?
  • Emus are aggressive
  • And one interaction took a turn

Also this week:

• • A government official claims he teleported to a Waffle House
  • A “wellness” company that’s giving cult
  • A woman who sent 150,000 texts after one date (who hasn’t?)
  • And why Kash Patel is definitely dating a spy

As always, it’s the best of the worst of the internet.

Follow @doomscrolldiaries, @mae_planert, and @laurasogar, subscribe, and send this to a friend who needs to stay informed (or just entertained).

This week on The Doomscroll Diaries, we’re unpacking some of the internet’s most chaotic headlines.

First up: the extremely awkward McDonald’s CEO video that somehow went viral while promoting the new Big Arch burger. Why does it feel like corporate PR keeps getting weirder every year?

Then we get into the latest Epstein testimony drama and why Bill and Hillary Clinton are once again at the center of online conspiracy discourse.

Plus we talk about:

• the disturbing assistant principal scandal making headlines

• Botox… but for camels (yes, really)

• the strange return of nostalgic TikTok hair-playing videos

• and the general feeling that the news cycle has fully lost the plot.

If the timeline feels overwhelming lately, this episode is here to help you doomscroll through it together.

Follow us on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@laurasogar⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@mae_planert⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and follow the pod ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@doomscrolldiariespod

The internet has officially adopted a baby monkey.

This week we’re breaking down the story of Punch — the viral monkey from a Japanese zoo who was abandoned by his mother, clings to a plush toy for comfort, and is now at the center of a global debate. Is he being bullied? Is the zoo exploiting him? And why did Andrew Tate offer $250,000 to “save” him?

Then we’re wrapping up the 2026 Winter Olympics — from an unexpected dog crashing the finish line to Alissa Liu’s gold medal moment and the pressure surrounding Eileen Gu.

Plus, a bizarre scam trend in Savannah where women posing as homeless are allegedly robbing men who bring them home.

This week, we get into the internet’s latest (and most confusing) wellness obsession, why raw milk is suddenly everywhere, and how influencer culture keeps turning objectively bad ideas into lifestyle trends.

We also talk about Ballerina Farm, trad-wife aesthetics, and what happens when “natural” wellness collides with actual public health concerns. Plus: a surprisingly wholesome internet story about a dad who committed to a lie for 24 years, why the clean girl era is starting to feel unhinged, and the strange comfort of low-stakes, very online chaos.

As always, we cover the best of the worst of the internet — so you don’t have to.