Part 2: Hello and welcome to the Detox Mister Show, where we cherish and believe in you. Today, let's talk about why you should stop looking for love. First off, let me say this. If you've got to look for love, then something is terribly wrong with you. Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because how can you be looking for something in other people when it's already within you? Do you realise how those people who seem to be selfish tend to be the ones getting all the love while others who are always putting others first are taken for granted?
Self-love comes hand in hand with being selfish. Selfless individuals often lose themselves while trying to find others. I'm not saying that you should be selfish all the time, but when it comes to love, you've got to put yourself first. Love yourself. Give yourself all the love the way you'd like it to be given to you, and in doing that, you will have shown others the way they should love you.
Learn to balance between selfishness and selflessness. You've got to know when to be either of the two without losing yourself in the process. No one will ever love you if you don't mind out the love that is deep within you like hidden treasure.
The first step towards finding love is realising that you already have it. Once you realise that you have it, you've got to let it show. Let it shine. If you care so much about what people will say when you let it show, then it means that you have not yet embraced it. Love is unapologetic, and so you should shut down those who have not yet realised that they have it in them because they are always the ones who will want to make you believe otherwise.
Once you start loving yourself, you will buy nice things for yourself, eat nice food, go to nice places, get a nice car, wish nice things for yourself and basically treat yourself in the nicest way you can ever dream of. When you do this, you will automatically attract nice, loving people who, just like you, love having nice things for themselves. You see, you can't be out here, seeking to treat other people nicely while you treat yourself harshly because that's like a direct ticket to being used and dumped. No one will care about you if you do it like that.
When you pretend to be nice, what you're doing is projecting how much hate you have for yourself so much that you don't even know how to genuinely express niceness. I know you have heard the phrase that most people tend to pick bad people because they believe that those who come as good ones are actually impostors posing as someone they are not.
That's why true love is hard to find. It's actually impossible to find because it's not hidden. When you look for something that's not hidden, you will never find it. The good news is that you have it sitting deep within you, waiting for you to take it and embrace it. As soon as you start to embrace it, you will be able to tell the difference between those who are genuinely good and those who are pretending to be good.
You will not hate yourself so much as to convince yourself that you deserve the real bad ones. In most cases, you will always find out that those who find it difficult to be genuinely nice are those people who go looking for love, not realising that they already have it in them.
You might be feeling lonely. You may even think that you're unlovable. Don't tell me you have given up on love when you are it. God is love, and so you're created in the likeness of love. That makes you love itself. Maybe you're single, and you think that you're unfortunate to lack a partner. Did you know some marriages are nothing more than unions of hate? What do you call a union of two people who are both filled with self-hate? Can love be found there? Some people are brought together by circumstances, others by interest, and others by societal expectations, but the most fulfilling unions are the ones brought together by love. A union of two people who truly love themselves is absolutely a union of two people who truly love each other. When you love yourself so much, you see your image in others who love themselves so much, and you love them wholeheartedly because loving them feels just like loving yourself; therefore, what started as selfishness turns out to be pure selflessness. If you live every day hoping to find someone who will love you unconditionally, start by doing this: stop looking for love.
Written by Jesse Kimathi Kabwi.
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