If there's something in your life that hasn't changed, is it that you don't have the tools, or is it that you're not willing to change it? What comes first, a willingness to change or the tools to change it? You can go to therapy. You can do life coaching classes. You can pray. You can go to church. You can use whatever means, methods, or modalities to create change in your life. But no matter how many tools you have in the toolbox, nothing moves without the willingness to take action and the willingness to change it.

Questions you can ask yourself:

- If you're looking at creating a life worth living and you're looking at making a change, how committed are you?
- What is that thing that you're not changing providing? What is it actually serving? What purpose does it have?
- What have I not been willing to change in relationships?
- What am I willing to be, do, have, create, and generate in my life? Is there anything that I'm not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate in your life?

An Exercise:

1. Make a list of what you have not been willing to change in your life. Ask yourself: What have I not been willing to change in relationships? What have I not been willing to change in my business? What have I not been willing to change with my money flows? What have I not been willing to change with my body? What have I not been willing to change with myself and my image, my personality?

2. Go through that list and have a look at, what purpose does that thing that you won't change serve? And the purpose it serves could be considered positive or negative. It doesn't matter, but just have a look at it.

3. What are you willing to be, do, have, create, and generate in your life? Is there anything that you are not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate in your life? And if there's anything that you're not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate, what is underneath that? What are you willing in your life? What are you unwilling in your life? Unpack it. Have a look at the exercise again.

Let's get real in 2024. Let's stop looking at what we haven't changed as a way of judging that we're not changeable and let's get real about what you actually desire to change. If there is something in your life that isn't working that you've looked at over and over, what actions have you taken in the last year, two years, or three years time to change it? What's the motivation for the change?

"Getting Real" is the energy of getting present with you and your life and what actions you can take to change them. I have watched the past few months at how many people are emotionally reactive and how we feel about a situation, but much slower on how or what is required to change it.

Key Takeaways:

1. Don't judge yourself for staying where you are right now. Judging it doesn't change it, it will only make it grow and make you more reactive.
2. Give yourself permission and time to pause and ponder what is possible to change in the next year.
3. If you only look at what did change and what you want to change, but you don't commit to changing it, it doesn't matter. Are you committed to yourself enough to create the change in your life?
4. Be uncomfortable and willing to see what isn't working. If something is uncomfortable and our immediate response is to get comfortable again, we are only maintaining what we already have and are avoiding a possibility that could be had.

How To Stop Doing It:

• What future are you creating?
• Where would I like to go, where I like to be, what would I like to be doing and what would I like my life to be like during 2024?
• What is you actually want to create as your life? What is worth living for for you?
• What is it that you actually desire to change in 2024?
• What pragmatic step can you take to start changing whatever it is you would truly like to change?
• What can I add to my life to create the change?
• Now that you know what you can add, which ones are you capable of implementing, which would you like to implement, which would you not like to implement, and which are you actually going to follow through with?
• Are you committed to yourself enough to create the change in your life?

It's often easy to see how others are mean, abusive, or terrible in our eyes, but it's another world to see where we do it to ourselves. Where do you self-abuse and what does it look like? In this episode, I explore conversations I've had with clients, and myself, in order to explore four specific ways we can self-abuse. What if you were willing to be honest and present enough with yourself to change this for you and, in return, begin to change how others treat you?

Four Ways We Self-Abuse:

1. By making others greater than ourselves for the same tasks and talking ourselves down.
2. By making someone’s needs, desires and wants of you more important than your own.
3. By judging you for anything you do or don’t do, and choose or don't choose, rather than acknowledging it’s a choice.
4. By trying to make yourself fit into the way other people see you or desire you to be.

How To Stop Doing It:

• Acknowledge where you are great and be willing to see the beliefs you have about yourself.
• Communicate what you require in life and demand it of you and your relationships.
• Build a sense of who you are and trust yourself to know what's really going on. No more doubt!
• Be willing to reflect on where you do these things to yourself, be honest and present with yourself, and start looking at the steps you can take to change it.