Hail Thetan! Despite Our Lawyer Advising Us Otherwise, We’re Crossing the Bridge, Getting In Touch With Our Thetan Roots and Enrolling in the World's Weirdest Correspondence Course: Scientology. The Guys Get Out of the Gate In a Brisk 15 Minutes Only to Jump the Rails Shortly Thereafter and Never Look Back. Debit Card Required, Intelligence Optional.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Local Color (Ed or ED? FEMA Gives NC the Finger, These States Just Ain’t Right, Little Billy Loses His Phone), Flat Ending.

Tangents: Corrections (Yoda Old as Hell, Bamboo in Bhutan). Taxpayers Clean Up at the Curb. Duncan Puts A Paw on the Scale. You’re Reaching Here. Let the Panties Hit the Floor. Sleep For Days. Dinner at Dahmers Featuring Marilyn and Charles Manson. Horsebaby. Regurgitating Risky IP. Rising Fallen Stars. Casey Jones Goes Dark. Sliding Scale Salvation. You Know You’re Impressed. Read the Room. Toyota Ruins the Tacoma. Pre Columbus Predation. Working On Our Deathbed. Cool It, Darth. Squat and Pop One Out. This Much a Socialist. Healthcare Hellscape. Eat It, Stupid Cow. Political Polarity. Food or Pointless?

Main: E Meter Test. Buying In. You Have to Name Names. Initial Audit. Anal Burdock. You’re A Shiny 8 Pointed Star. Making a MEST. What’s the Symbology Here? You Can Nail 2 Jesuses To Our Cross. Getting on the Boat. L Ron Before Enron. Does Insurance Cover Salvation? Zenu Isn’t Just a Vienna Sausage. Bombed Out of the Stone Age.