Being present sounds easy, but for entrepreneurs whose brains never stop spinning business plates, it can feel downright impossible, especially when family and holiday expectations crash in.

In this episode, Melody and Curt talks about what it really takes to show up for your people, why “just turn your phone off” is terrible advice, and how guilt, workaholism, and that familiar business-owner urgency sabotage our best intentions.

What We Talk About:

1. Curt’s history of literally working through family outings and the moment he realized “being there” doesn’t mean being present
2. Why Melody felt mom guilt even when she was always aware of ignoring her family—and how it’s different for men and women entrepreneurs
3. The story of Curt being “white hot mad” on Christmas Eve and his sister’s reality check about presence and perspective
4. When providing for your family becomes the excuse for not enjoying them (and why that mindset is so seductive)
5. “Holding things lightly”—the Buddhist therapist hack that changed Curt’s approach to frustration, stress, and ultimately, family time
6. Melody’s transition from workaholic identity to re-learning how to savor moments with her kids, nephew, and actually herself
7. Meditating, being silent (even if only for a tenth of a second), and why decompressing is a skill—not an automatic reward for burning out
8. The only short-term hack that works: If all else fails, just make “being delightful” your job at the family party (it’s weirdly effective)

Key Takeaways:

1. Most family “resentment moments” aren’t about the actual holiday mishap—they’re business stress finding a scapegoat.
2. Presence is uncomfortable because silence and unstructured time can feel scarier than replying to emails.
3. Treating holidays like time you “give your family out of generosity” is an ego trap; true presence is a gift to yourself.
4. You won’t change overnight—getting present takes experimentation, therapy, self-mockery, and sometimes just faking it for a couple hours at a time.

Timestamps:

0:00 – Why being present feels impossible (especially during holidays)

4:05 – Curt’s all-time low point for family presence

15:00 – The “hold it lightly” therapy metaphor

18:46 – Melody’s three things that finally shifted her presence

25:55 – When your brain craves work stress more than silence

34:16 – Real secrets (and cheats) for putting down the phone and actually being there