Your child goes every time you take them. No more diapers. You’re reminding them every two or three hours and they’re keeping their pants dry. You did it, right?
Not yet.
In this episode, I’m talking about the stage where most parents get comfortable—and stuck. That in-between place where your child will use the toilet when prompted, but they’re not going on their own. I call it prompt dependence, and it’s where so many families park themselves because they’re scared of losing the progress they worked so hard to get.
I get it. You spent years in diapers. You finally got them going. Now I’m asking you to shake the tree again? Yes. Because true potty training independence isn’t your child going when YOU tell them to—it’s them feeling nature call and answering it themselves.
I’m breaking down why parents get stuck here, what’s really driving the fear of “regression,” and how to widen the window so your child can start hearing their own body instead of waiting for your voice.

In This Episode:

• The difference between going on command and true independence
• Why the autism community’s fear of regression keeps parents stuck
• What “widen the window” means and how to do it
• How to handle accidents during this stage without losing progress
• Why your child won’t start from zero if they regress—and the science behind that
• The mindset shift that changes everything: “I created this result, so I can create it again”

Key Takeaways:

1. If you’re reminding your child every 2-3 hours and they’re going, that’s a win—but it’s not the finish line.
2. There are two voices that can tell your child when to go: your external voice and their body’s internal voice. They’ve learned to listen to yours. Now they need the opportunity to hear theirs.
3. Regression isn’t death. When you get back on the horse, you don’t start at zero—you start just a little before where you were and pick up quickly.
4. Your survival brain and your child are both going to fight for comfort. Your higher brain knows what’s possible.
5. You didn’t get this far by accident. You worked for it. That means you can get it back—and go further.

Quotables:
“We didn’t have babies just to live survival lives. We had babies to teach them to thrive.”
“True independence is when the child feels their body needing to go, and they go release on their own.”
“If I created that result, I can create it again. It didn’t just happen to me. It wasn’t magic potty pixie dust.”
“Every up-level is shaking your tree. It’s going to be uncomfortable. Your brain’s going to tell you all the reasons not to mess things up. That’s not the life you signed up to live.”

In this raw episode, I'm sharing the tension between helping families publicly and protecting privacy. Why I'm still doing this work, and the transformation that's possible when you believe in your child. From preverbal to thriving – this is the hope you need to hear.

Parents often worry that if they introduce signs, PECS, or an AAC device, their child will “never talk.” In this episode I share Julianna’s story—how she lost language, how we taught functional communication with signs, and why that actually accelerated her spoken words. I unpack what changed for her brain, her motivation, and our relationship, and I cite research showing AAC does not block speech and can increase it.

• AAC (signs, PECS, devices) gives a child a reliable voice now, reducing frustration and building the language foundation that supports speech later.
• High-quality studies show AAC does not delay speech. Many children make gains in spoken language once they can communicate successfully.
  PubMed+1
• The “unlock” isn’t only mechanical. It is social and motivational. For Julianna, the first sign proved she understood us, pulled her out of her private world to find us, and created pride and belonging—fuel to work for speech.

• Pair a respectful AAC option (signs, PECS, or SGD) with natural routines and powerful motivators.
• Model language. Speak to your child as you normally would while honoring their sign/picture/button presses as real communication.
• Keep AAC available everywhere. Success breeds more attempts.
• If one system isn’t a fit (e.g., card-stimming), pivot—signs or a device may reduce competing sensory pull.
• Involve your SLP/BCBA to individualize and to target functional requests first.

• Kasari Communication Intervention with SGDs (JAACAP RCT, 2014).
  PubMed
• Schlosser & Wendt Systematic Review (2008).
  PubMed
• Millar, Light, & Schlosser Meta-analysis (2006).
  PubMed
• Flippin, Reszka, & Watson PECS Meta-analysis (2010).
  PubMed
• Ganz et al. AAC Meta-analysis (2014).
  PubMed
• AAP: “Beyond Spoken Words: AAC for Kids” (myth-busting).