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  • Relationships (Part 1) - The Bridge That Love Built
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Bridge that Love Built Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 1 of 3) Bob: All of us, as parents, want our children to be able to form healthy relationships as they grow up. Dennis Rainey says, for that to happen, moms and dads need to know how to skillfully pursue a strong relationship with each of their children. Dennis: First Corinthians 13 says, if you’ve missed love, you’ve missed life; so these little children that you’re raising, who will become big people, have to be trained in the basics of love. That begins with us as parents. You and I, as parents, are God’s physical arms of love to these little people to tutor them in what love truly means. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, December 5th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Don’t assume that your children are going to be naturally good at forming strong, healthy relationships; that’s a bad assumption. They need your help to know how to develop those kinds of skills. 1:00 We’ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. You know, when I think back on all of the things that Mary Ann and I thought about—in terms of “These are things we need to make sure we teach our children,”—I don’t know that it ever dawned on us that one of the things we needed to teach our children was how to be good at relationships. I don’t know that that was ever a conscious thought—that teaching them how to be good at relationships was something we would need to do. I guess we just thought: “Well, that just happens,”—right?—“You grow up, and you’re good at relationships.” Dennis: Right. And you’re supposed to know how to do it naturally; right? I want to ask my bride, Barbara—we just celebrated our 46 years of marriage,— 2:00 Bob: Congratulations, by the way. Barbara: Thank you, sir. Dennis: —and we had six kids that are all married now: “Go back to the beginning. Did you and I ever have a conscious—we probably had some, when we were unconscious, raising kids—[Laughter]—Did we ever have a conscious thought about training our kids to love others?” Barbara: Not early on, but I remember having conscious thoughts about it when sibling rivalry was at its peak; because then I’m thinking, “Oh my; I have to teach these kids how to relate to each other.” Bob: —“how not to kill each other.” Barbara: Yes; so it was defensive. Bob: I do remember that—that you have to teach them how to get along with one another and, maybe, how to get along with kids on the playground. But again, the whole idea that relationship training is a part of a parent’s responsibility—I think that’s one of the big ideas I think you guys have captured in your book, The Art of Parenting. It’s what we’re going to spend time talking about on today’s program. Dennis: You know, you never know, Bob, who’s listening to the broadcast. I had a young lady come up to me in Boulder, Colorado, this past summer— 3:00 she said: “I grew up in Southern California. In the backseat of our car, as my mom would be driving me to school, I’d be listening to FamilyLife Today.” [Laughter] She said, “I listened to it for years—all the way through elementary school, junior high, high school. Then I kind of left the faith.” She said: “I went to Stanford, and I kind of lost my way; but graduated—came out the other side—and was listening to FamilyLife Today again when it got my attention. It was like, ‘I need to come back to what I had heard.’” She said: “I’m not married. I have a couple of kids. All that training—all that training I heard—as a little girl, growing up—is now paying off for me, as a mom. I just want to say, ‘Thank you to FamilyLife Today for doing what you do.’” Bob: Well, you know who we need to say, “Thank you,” to— Dennis: I do! Bob: —the people, who have made this program possible over the years. Dennis: That’s what I want to say to our listeners right now: “Would you make this broadcast possible to another little girl like that?”— 4:00 —“maybe to their mom and dad,—maybe to a couple, who are engaged, who need to go to a Weekend to Remember®,” You’ve heard about it here, so you know how to get them there; but to do that, we need folks, like you, standing with us, financially, with generous gifts, here at yearend. Over 40 percent of our donations come in in the next 30 days, and those 30 days make the other 11 months possible. Bob: Yes; that’s right. Dennis: Would you stand with us? I’m serious. I’ve been doing this now for 27 years, and none of your money is sticking to my fingers—trust me. It’...
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    32 分
  • Relationships (Part 2) - The Family as a Training Center
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Family as a Training Center Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 2 of 3) Bob: Is it okay for moms and dads to fight in front of the kids? Barbara Rainey says, sometimes, it is. Barbara: We decided that we wanted our kids to see us having some disagreements—not big conflict—but if we were disagreeing about something that was not a huge thing, but we really both had a strong opinion on it, we decided that we would go again and occasionally express our disagreement in front of our kids and let them watch us work it out. We just disagree, and parents disagree. It’s okay for parents to disagree. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, December 6th. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. Your kids are going to have to know how to resolve conflict, because conflict is a part of life. They need your coaching, and they need to see how you do it. We’re going to talk more about that today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. We’re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to help their children develop some relational intelligence—to help them know how to do relationships right. Dennis: —how to love imperfect people. It’s that kind of programming that we try to provide, here, at FamilyLife Today that keeps listeners coming back for more. You ought to hear one of my favorite stories—my all-time stories—in 27 years of broadcasting. It was a letter from a woman, who lived in Alaska. Where she lived, she couldn’t get a radio signal; so she, every day—it was like at 10 o’clock/10:30—she would get on her snowmobile and drive out to a ridge [Laughter] so she could listen to FamilyLife Today. A woman—a wife/a mother—who needed practical biblical help and hope for her home. When you give to FamilyLife Today, you’re making this broadcast possible— 2:00 —not merely to folks who live on the outskirts of humanity in Alaska—but you’re making it possible, all across our country. If you believe in what we’re doing, here, on FamilyLife Today, I need you to pick up the phone, or go online, or take out a check and say: “Guys, keep going! Twenty-seven years has been great, but we need this broadcast to stand strong now. Here’s my investment in godly homes and legacies for generations to come.” Bob: During the Christmas season, and as we approach the end of the year, this is a particularly critical time to hear from listeners; isn’t it? Dennis: It is; over 40 percent of our donations come in this month. As I said on a recent broadcast, these 30 days determine how FamilyLife® is going to continue broadcasting over the next 11 months. Bob: Yes. Dennis: Please, stand with us. We need your help now. Bob: Here’s good news: right now, if you help with a donation, your donation is going to be doubled—it’s going to be matched, dollar for dollar. 3:00 We’ve got some friends of the ministry who have offered to match every donation we receive, during the month of December, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $2.5 million. That’s a huge opportunity for us; and we’re hoping FamilyLife Today listeners will respond and make an online donation, or call to donate. When you do, we’d like to say, “Thank you,” this year by sending you a DVD copy of the movie that FamilyLife produced this year that was in theaters a few months ago. It’s a movie called Like Arrows. It’s going to be available for purchase in early 2019; but right now, we have a limited supply available if you can help with a yearend donation. Donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Just ask for the DVD, Like Arrows, and we’ll send that out to you, along with our thanks for your support of the ministry. Now, I want to tell you guys about my next-door neighbor when I was growing up. His name was Dee; he was a year younger than me. We grew up across the driveway from one another—we had a shared driveway. 4:00 Dennis: You’re not talking about recently; you’re talking about when you were a kid. Bob: This was when I was a kid; yes. This was back in Glendale, Missouri. Dennis: Back before the earth’s crust had hardened. [Laughter] Bob: We shared a driveway that “Y”-d off. As you came up the driveway, the right side went to their house; the left side went to our house. We moved in when I was two; Dee was one. We went all the way through high school together. He was the best man in my wedding. Barbara: Really? Bob: Yes; so we had a great relationship. In fact, Dee just came and spent a weekend at our house a couple of months ago. We had a great time getting caught up on everything. Barbara: Wow! Bob: So ...
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    30 分
  • Relationships (Part 3) - Teaching Kids to Love God
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Teaching Kids to Love God Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 3 of 3) Bob: As parents, we want our children to be skillful in relationships; but there’s one relationship that matters more than any other—that is our children’s relationship with Jesus. Barbara Rainey says that’s something that, as parents, we can’t engineer. Barbara: It’s not our responsibility. I think that’s where parents get confused—I know I felt it. I felt like it was my responsibility to teach my kids and to make sure they had a relationship with Christ, but that’s not it. My responsibility was to present the truth to them and to model a relationship; it’s God’s responsibility to call their hearts. I think that’s where we get mixed up, as moms and dads—we own what is not ours. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, December 7th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. As parents, how can we prepare our child’s heart so that, when the seeds of the gospel are planted, they can take root? 1:00 We’re going to talk more today about our responsibility, as parents, to introduce our children to Jesus. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I had kind of an “Aha” moment—this was a number of years ago—but I remember reading in Romans, Chapter 1, where it says that, since the beginning of time, it’s been obvious to everybody that there’s a God. That’s not new news for anybody. Anybody who can look around and see the world/anybody who’s aware of their own existence— Dennis: This is the Lepine paraphrase of Romans 1. Bob: Yes! This is what Romans 1 says: “If you’re alive and you can take a breath, you know, deep inside, you’re here because there is a God.” 2:00 The “Aha” moment for me was—as I raise my kids, my kids know there’s a God. The issue is—I don’t have to convince my kids that there’s a God who exists—I just have to introduce them to the God they already know exists. Or my assignment is to explain who this God, that they know already, is; so they can have a relationship with him. We’ve been talking this week about relationships and how that fits into parenting and the priority for us, as parents, to help our kids know how to do relationships—to build strong relationships with our children to help them know how to relate to one another. At the core of all of this—they need to understand the God who created them and what it means to have a relationship with Him. Dennis: A listener recently wrote us, Bob, and said something very similar to that. She said: “Your broadcasts, in general, are so helpful; but a blessing to my life. First, as a follower of Jesus Christ. 3:00 But secondly, now that I’m 36 years old, I don’t have the wisdom and the training to disciple my kids and to know how to pass this truth on to my family. You guys are equipping me with those biblical principles and spiritual growth so that our kids don’t wither when they go out into the world, but they know how to thrive.” Bob: Well, we ought to say, “Thank you,” right here, at the beginning, to those who, not only listen to FamilyLife Today, but to those that make it possible for listeners like this to get the help and hope they need for their marriage and their family. Dennis: And as we’re here at yearend, I just need to turn to you, as a listener, and invite you—and may I also say, “challenge you”—to join with us, financially, in this broadcast. Help make it possible so that others—not only you and your family—but that others can benefit from this broadcast as well. We need you right now to pull out a checkbook or a credit card— 4:00 —go online or get an envelope and put that check in the mail to FamilyLife Today—so that we can be on air with stories of redemption and hope that do give wisdom to those who are in the trenches. Bob, I think that’s what marriages and families need today—is that practical biblical help and hope that FamilyLife Today can be counted on to provide. Bob: Well, as I’ve said, this is a particularly good time of year for you to make a donation; because we’ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and offered to double every donation we receive. They’re going to match it, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $2.5 million. For us to take full advantage of that matching gift, we need every listener, who has benefited from this program over the course of the year, to be as generous as you can be so that we can end the year in a strong position. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. When you do, ...
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    29 分
  • What Kids Need (Part 1)
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. God’s Got Your Back Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: What Kids Need (Day 1 of 3) Bob: When you have a newborn or there are toddlers around the house, it’s easy to get focused on the day-to-day and forget what the long game is in parenting. Here’s Dennis Rainey. Dennis: Children are God’s statement that the next generation must take our place. What we must do is impart to our children the truth about God, the experience of God, and also the gospel of God—how they can know Him—that’s our assignment. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, September 5th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Okay; let’s pull back and look at the big picture: “What is it that we are supposed to do, as parents, as we raise the next generation? What’s the priority? What’s job one?” We’re going to talk about that today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I think I’ve heard you say—I don’t know if you’ve called it a mistake or not—but you said something about the fact that you wrote a book on parenting teenagers before you were done parenting teenagers. Dennis: One of the big mistakes— Bob: Okay; I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want to put words in your mouth. [Laughter] Dennis: —of our—of our lives. Barbara joins us. Would you agree, Sweetie? Barbara: Well, it was rather brash, I think, to write on parenting when we hadn’t finished. Bob: The truth is—it’s a great book. The concepts in the book are solid, and I’ve referred to it many times as we were in the process of raising our kids. Dennis: And we paid the price for many of those lessons, Bob; but we were not done raising teenagers. [Laughter] What we had to do, on numerous occasions, is go back and rip pages out or reread what we’ve written. Bob: Well, now, here we are—and you have finished the process of raising your children— 2:00 —and you decided, “Okay; now, it’s safe to write a book on parenting,”—right? Dennis: We did. This is something that I’ve wanted to do—actually, we’ve wanted to do since we were a part of starting FamilyLife®, all the way back to 1976. Barbara and I had been working with high school students nationwide, and we saw the need and really wanted to make an impact on teenagers and the next generation. The way we did that was by helping people stay married / have a good marriage; but also, ultimately, one day, I wanted to get to this topic of equipping parents to know how to do—not just marriage God’s way—but do parenting His way as well. Bob: Barbara, I’ll ask you; and then I’ll ask you as well, Dennis. If you could only speak or write about one or the other— Dennis: Oh, you’re going to do that to her? Bob: —marriage or parenting? Barbara: Oh, that’s a terrible question. [Laughter] Bob: If I said, “For the rest of your life, you have to either talk about parenting or you have to talk about marriage,” which would you pick? Dennis: I think—I know the answer. 3:00 Barbara: Well, I think I would have to say marriage, because not all couples have children; and if you don’t get your marriage right, you can’t get parenting right. So I would say marriage over parenting if I had to pick one—if you’re going to force me. Dennis: And I thought she would have said motherhood. Barbara: That wasn’t an option, though! [Laughter] Bob: Well, that’s parenting. Barbara: I’m very precise. Laughter] Bob: Being a mom and raising kids has been a passion of your life. Barbara: Well, yes; and I loved being a mom; I loved raising kids. It really was—it was stressful; it was hard, but it was rewarding. It was what I felt like I was made to do in those years that I was doing it. I was very engaged, very committed, very involved—reading things all the time—trying to improve, trying to be a great mom, trying to give my kids what they needed; so I was very invested. Bob: If you had to pick?—marriage or parenting—and that’s all you could talk about / write about. Dennis: Well, here’s the thing. 4:00 I have to answer the way Barbara did, because that’s where we have been focused over the past 41 years—we have been focusing on marriage. We have done a lot of parenting work—we’ve written a lot of books on parenting; we’ve had a conference that we created on parenting, which we mothballed until recently, Bob. You know that we’re finally getting a chance to roll this out—a parenting conference in a box, which is a small group kit to help folks know how to do the art of parenting, which is also the name of a book that Barbara and I just completed as well. We’ve been wanting to get after this and do this for some ...
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    27 分
  • What Kids Need (Part 2)
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Needs of Kids, Part 1 Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: What Kids Need (Day 2 of 3) Bob: Your kids need you to be a parent. Here’s Barbara Rainey. Barbara: I think there is a movement / I think there is a common thinking today in parents that I see that mom and dad need to be buddies with their kids—they need to be friends / they need to be pals. There’s nothing wrong with having that kind of a relationship—like if you go camping or you go to the park—you’re going to play together; you’re going to do some things together; you’re going to get down on the same level; but that isn’t the posture that you need to have, as a parent, all the time. Homes do not need to be child-centric. Homes need to be God-centric, and then mom and dad need to be in charge and directing the life of their child—not being dictated by the children. You need to train your child that he’s not the center of the universe, and that’s the difference—is helping them begin to understand that they’re not in control; they’re not in charge. 1:00 They do have needs; they do have wants; and they do have feelings; but they aren’t / don’t always have to be met immediately. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, September 6th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. Your kids need to know that you love them, and that you care about them, and that you are their friend; but they need to know, first, that you are their parent and that you have authority over them. We’re going to talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. 2:00 Thanks for joining us. You know, if you stop and think about it, there is a reason that God, in His wisdom, gave kids to moms and dads. Dennis: Oh, you think? [Laughter] Why do you think He did that, Bob? Bob: Well, I’ve been reading your book; so I know the answer to why He did that. [Laughter] Kids need a mom and a dad to do what moms and dads are supposed to do so that the kids grow up with an understanding of who they are and what they are all about; don’t they? Dennis: Psalm 127, verses 3-5 say this—listen carefully—some parents who I read this to right now don’t believe this, because they have real problems with their kids—we understand that: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” 3:00 Children are a gift to be received. They are arrows to be raised; and then they are also arrows that were meant to be released. They were not designed to stay in the quiver; they were meant to be designed for a target. Bob: And if parents are going to raise their kids successfully, they need to know what their assignment is. Your wife Barbara is back again today. Barbara, welcome back to FamilyLife Today. Barbara: Thank you, Bob. Bob: Do you think most moms and dads start the parenting journey understanding what it is that they are supposed to do? Barbara: Probably not. I would say they probably have some ideas of what they want to do. I think they probably have some ideas of what they don’t want to do / what they don’t want to repeat. Most young couples come in and say, “I’m not going to do it the way my parents did,”— Bob: Right. Barbara: —or “I don’t want to do it the way I saw it done by So-and-so.” I think they have a vague, general idea; but parenting is such a hands-on learning experiencing. 4:00 I often say that a woman can read a dozen books—on how to have a baby, what’s it’s like to have a baby, what’s happening inside, what you can expect—but until she actually goes through the experience, it’s all theory. In some ways, that’s true with parenting, too; because you can read tons of books; but once you get in there—and you know who your kids are / you know who you are; and you’re beginning to figure out, “How do we work together?”—then, that’s when you really need to have practical help. Bob: My preparation for parenting happened over six summers from 1972 until 1977. Dennis: Boy Scouts? Bob: It was YMCA Camp Lakewood in Potosi, Missouri. Dennis: I was close; I was close! Bob: I was a camp counselor for many years at Camp Lakewood. As we would have kids come into the cabin, it was my job to take care of those kids for the week. I caught on: “Here’s the big idea of parenting. You want your kids to have a blast every day and sleep well at night.” [Laughter] Dennis: —“and be clothed.” 5:00 Bob: “...
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    25 分
  • What Kids Need (Part 3)
    2020/01/07
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Needs of Kids, Part 2 Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: What Kids Need (Day 3 of 3) Bob: While you’re making sure today that your children are fed—that they’ve got something to wear—that they’re doing their homework and that they’re protected—Barbara Rainey wants you to remember there is an even higher priority that we should never lose sight of, as parents. Barbara: The number one thing that kids need from a mom and dad is to know how to have an authentic faith for themselves. They need a relationship with Jesus Christ, so that they can live for Him and take the message of Christ to their generation. What they need from you is to see it! Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, September 7th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. Your children are going to live forever, just like you are. That’s why their spiritual condition is the most important thing we need to be focusing on, as parents. We’ll talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. So one of the great things about learning about parenting from parents who’ve already done it is they’ve made the mistakes you don’t have to make; right? [Laughter] Barbara: I wish it were that easy! Dennis: Well, we were parents. We still are parents, by the way. Bob: Right. Dennis: But we were parents in the thick of it for 28 straight years: six children—now, all adults; now, all married; lots of grandkids—[our kids] raising their own crew. I have to tell you, Bob—my hat goes off to them. Bob: Yes. Dennis: I think they’re raising this generation in much more challenging days than we ever thought about. Bob: We’ve been taking time this week, and your wife Barbara is joining us. Barbara, welcome back. Barbara: Thank you, Bob. Bob: We are talking about parenting, because you guys have just finished a book called The Art of Parenting. The book is, really, the centerpiece of what has become a parenting initiative, here, at FamilyLife®. 2:00 It led to the video series—the Art of Parenting™—that churches are starting to use in small groups. People are using this in their living room with their neighbors, inviting them over for dinner and going through the video series. And this is what led to the movie that we produced, called Like Arrows, which is also going to be available very soon for people to purchase and to watch. I know a lot of our listeners did not get a chance to see it in theaters—they’ve been asking me, “When does it come out on DVD?” We’ll have news for you about that soon. Your book, The Art of Parenting, is really the headwaters for all that we’ve been talking about here. We’re spending time helping parents understand what their kids need from them. You put these needs in the form of tweets, and we’ve already covered half of your list of ten tweets. Do you want to go back through the first five that we covered? Dennis: I think it might be good; yes. Barbara: Except it starts with ten; so the first five, but it— Bob: Okay; we’re counting down until we get to number one. [Laughter] Dennis: Number ten—it’s: “A home that is not child-centric.” Bob: Your kids need the home they grow up in not to revolve around them. 3:00 Dennis: Exactly. Number nine—it’s: “A home led by intentional and purposeful parents.” That means parents who are really thinking through where they are taking their kids— Bob: Yes. Dennis: —and “What is the target that they’re going to release their arrow toward?” Bob: —not just in the moment—but you’re thinking, long-term and strategically, with your kids. Barbara: Yes; you’re thinking: “Why are we doing what we’re doing? What’s our goal?” Bob: Yes. Barbara: “Where are we headed?” Bob: Alright; what else? Dennis: Number eight: “A secure home.” Security is different than an alarm system. It’s the security of a mom and dad, who are committed to one another, and who are committed to following Jesus Christ. Bob: It’s emotional security. Barbara, that goes beyond a mom and a dad being together. It is part of how we communicate to our kids, “It’s safe here for you to be who you are”; right? Barbara: Yes; and mom and dad model that by being committed to one another and having a love relationship with one another that spills over to their kids. Their kids feel that—they feel that security and that freedom to be who they are. 4:00 Dennis: Number seven: “Parents who pray together every day.” I believe this more than ever—parenting is a spiritual battle. Marriages and families are taking place on a spiritual ...
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    29 分
  • What Every Parent Needs (Part 1)
    2020/01/06
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Leaning on the Lord Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: Art of Parenting: What Every Parent Needs (Day 1 of 3) Bob: The demands we face as parents are daily and, sometimes, urgent demands. Barbara Rainey says, in the midst of that, we’ve got to keep in mind the long-term perspective of parenting. Barbara: As parents, we’re so often reactive; and we’re so often mired in today and the issues of today—whether it’s potty training, or lying, or first day of school, or whatever it is—we get really bogged down in the today. It’s hard to make ourselves think ahead. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, October 29th. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. In parenting, it’s important that all of us keep the main thing the main thing. We’re going to talk about how we do that, as parents, today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I don’t know if you guys have had this kind of an opportunity—I say “you guys” because your wife, Barbara, is in the studio with us today. Welcome Barbara. Barbara: Thank you Bob. Dennis: Hi Sweetheart. Barbara: Hi! Bob: Have you had the opportunity to sit down with expectant parents, who are about to have their first baby, and just say: “Okay; let me give you the lay of the land. Let me tell you what’s coming”? Have you had parents like that, who have said, “Would you just prep us?” You know, we do premarital counseling, but we don’t do a whole lot of pre-parenting counseling for first-time parents. Have you ever had that opportunity? Barbara: Well, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to talk to young women, who are going to have their first baby about the birthing process, because that’s really front and center in most of their minds—it’s: “How am I going to get this kid here? How am I going to survive it? How are we going to…”—all that stuff at the beginning—feeding and all of that. That’s really where most young women’s minds are: “How am I going to survive the first six months?” 2:00 So they don’t really think much beyond that—I don’t think. I think it’s getting the baby here, getting it healthy, learning how to feed it and take care of it—and that’s about as far as I think they go, mentally. Bob: When I was a young parent, I wasn’t thinking much beyond the here and now—the next couple of weeks. I didn’t have the big picture in mind. I think, for a lot of parents, that’s just where we live. Dennis: I think it’s a time of blissful joy, and they really don’t know what’s ahead for them. I think there is a lot of optimism—and may I say it about us?—a lot of arrogance. We thought we’d do a better job than our parents would do. It wasn’t that we thought we were better people; we just thought we’ve been better-equipped. We’ve had some great teachers of the Bible; we’ve had some mentors that have built into our lives, and we thought we could do it, Bob. I don’t think I thought it would be easy, but I thought it was going to be easier than it was. [Laughter] 3:00 Bob: So today, what we’re going to do is—we’re going to do some of this pre-parenting counseling that will, hopefully, help moms and dads think—not so much about labor and delivery—because they’re taking classes for that; right? Barbara: Right. Bob: They’re going through sessions on how to breathe and all of this. But we want them to be thinking about the next 18 years with this son or daughter that they are about to have and to come back and say, “Okay; what’s the big objective here?” And this is one of the things you deal with in the book that you’ve just written called The Art of Parenting. You’ve got a chapter in here—a section of the book—that’s all about what parents need in order to be good parents; and at the center of that, they need the right perspective; don’t they? Dennis: They do. This first point we’d like to make for parents is absolutely essential. It’s like gravity—it is—it must be in place in your life, in your marriage, in your family to be successful, as a parent. You see what I’m holding. Bob: I do. Dennis: It’s a Bible. Bob: Yes. 4:00 Dennis: We say, “A dusty Bible will lead to a dirty life.” It will also lead to children who are aimless, spiritually, and who don’t know who they are and why they were created. Barbara: So the most important thing we believe for every parent is that you must be individually, and then as a couple, dependent on God. Assuming that you know Him—which we’re assuming that at this moment—if you know Him, then the most important thing for you to do is to grow in your ...
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    28 分
  • What Every Parent Needs (Part 2)
    2020/01/06
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. What Do You Want Your Kids to Be? Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: Art of Parenting: What Every Parent Needs (Day 2 of 3) Bob: Do you and your spouse have the same set of parenting priorities as you raise your children? Barbara Rainey remembers when she and her husband, Dennis, sat down and compared notes. Barbara: What was surprising to me was how different our lists were. I shouldn’t have been surprised, because we had been flashing over this; but nonetheless, I think, when you get married, you think, “Oh, we have so much in common,”’ and then—after a few years or maybe after the kids come along—you realize, “Well, maybe we’re operating off of two different sets of instructions.” Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, October 30th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What can you do, as parents, to make sure you’re on the same page and that your values are in sync together as you raise your children? We’ll spend time talking to Dennis and Barbara Rainey about that today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. We’re spending some time this week doing some pre-parenting counseling. We talked about the fact that a lot of couples get premarital counseling; and a lot of couples, when they’re expecting a baby, go to birthing classes; but nobody’s doing parenting classes. Well, we’re doing parenting classes now with the Art of Parenting™ video series and with your new book, The Art of Parenting, that is now available. Your goal with that book, and our goal with the series, is to equip moms and dads to have a big-picture perspective on what God’s calling them to do. Dennis: Exactly. We’re joined again on FamilyLife Today with Barbara. Welcome back to the broadcast, Sweetheart. Barbara: Thank you much! Glad to be here. Dennis: Here’s the thing about children—I think most of us look at our children way too simplistically. 2:00 Let me depart from a conversation about children at this point and just talk about the Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway. One of the things we do at the getaway is—we cast marriage in the grand scheme of things—of what God is up to on planet earth. We say to couples: “Your marriage isn’t just about two people trying to get their needs met. Your marriage is supposed to demonstrate who God is to a fallen planet. There are angels looking onto the planet—they’re in the audience, watching how you two handle your conflict.” Well, you know what? The same thing is true about children. It’s not just a little person—you’re talking about an eternal being. In the Art of Parenting video series, which we just launched, we’ve got a number of marriage and family experts in there, one of whom is Tim Kimmel. Tim and Darcy have been on the Weekend to Remember speaker team for a number of years. 3:00 One of the things that he said in this series on the art of parenting was—he said, “I know how long children live. They’re eternal! They last forever.” That means, Bob, that they are worth so much more than any of us ever imagine at a point in time. I think it’s why we need to go back to the Book—back to the Bible—and just read and see how children are described. I’m going to go to, I think, a classic passage in the Old Testament—Psalm 127, verses 3-5, that describes children. It says: “Behold! Children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward,”—not a curse, but a benefit/a reward—“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.” The picture here—I want every parent to imagine this with me— 4:00 —God could have chosen any metaphor in existence to describe children, but he chose arrows. He pictures a warrior: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior.” What’s the warrior doing? He’s engaged in battle. What are you, as a parent, doing? You are engaged in a battle over the soul—the moral condition and the development of your child—to be used by God in his generation. So the question is: “Are you viewing your assignment as a sacred assignment?—children being a heritage—a reward/a blessing. I’m sorry to get so intense here, at the beginning of the broadcast here, Bob; but I just think there’s a lot of really lazy thinking about children. We forget—it’s so easy, in the midst of the battle—we aren’t raising rug rats. We’re raising image-bearers, who reflect who God is, and will carry on in the next generation. 5:00 Bob: If you were sitting down with a couple, who were about to begin that journey—Barbara, one of the things I know you would tell them is: “You need to begin your parenting journey...
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    29 分