Not long ago, the primary concern people had about boys was that they were wild, impulsive, and out of control — getting into fights, pushing limits, and stirring up trouble. Today, the problem has flipped. The more common challenge isn’t reckless behavior, but inert passivity. More and more young men are anxious, apathetic, socially isolated, and seemingly uninterested in doing much of anything at all.

Vince Benevento, the founder of Causeway Collaborative — a male-specific counseling center — and the author of Boys Will Be Men: 8 Lessons for the Lost American Male, has spent nearly two decades working on the front lines of this shift. As a therapist, coach, and mentor who specializes in helping young men between the ages of 14 and 30, Vince has worked with both the combustible and the checked-out and developed a clear, experience-honed framework for what actually helps guys get unstuck, take ownership of their lives, and move forward with purpose.

In today’s conversation, we unpack what Vince has learned through years of work with boys and men, and how his approach — which is rooted more in action than in talk — can be applied not just in the therapist’s office, but by parents and mentors. We dig into why traditional therapy often fails young men, and how to give them the drive, accountability, and sense of connection they crave. We discuss the importance of teaching young men to build life “brick by brick” and helping them find their wild, their thing, and a good group of friends.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a Man
• AoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of Manhood
• AoM Podcast #1,028: The 5 Marks of a Man
• AoM Podcast #886: What the World of Psychology Gets Wrong About Men
• AoM Article: Get Your Son Out of His Bedroom
• AoM Article: How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take Control

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We’ve all had that feeling — you meet someone new, and the conversation just flows. You’re in sync. You click. But what’s really happening when that magic occurs?

My guest today is journalist Kate Murphy, author of Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony, and she says this experience isn’t just a vibe, it’s a measurable physiological phenomenon and the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. In our conversation, we dig into what happens when people click, why syncing with others feels so good, and how it influences everything from friendships to teamwork to romantic relationships. We also talk about why some people have a knack for connection, how you can become more “clickable,” and why video calls are the worst.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Dying Breed article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social Acceleration
• Kate's previous book: You're Not Listening
• Sunday Firesides: Be Someone's Atmospheric Getaway
• AoM Article: The Importance of Eye Contact

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American football is so big — so braided into our weekends, our language, and our culture — that it can be hard to see it clearly as a whole.

In his new book, Football, Chuck Klosterman helps us see the game from unexpected angles, and argues that football isn’t just a sport, it’s a kind of national operating system. Chuck explains how it became the dominant televised spectacle in America, despite having elements that should count against it. We then explore football as a simulation — of war, of reality, and even of itself — and how its simulation through video games has actually fed back into the sport itself. We also talk about who Chuck thinks is the GOAT (hint: it's not Tom Brady), and the difference between achievement and greatness. At the end of our conversation, Chuck lays out a compelling argument for why football may be headed for a steep and surprising fall.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #248: Why Football Matters
• AoM Podcast #1,061: Are You Not Entertained? The Myths and Truths About Roman Gladiators
• AoM Podcast #1,044: What Sports Betting Is Really Doing to Players, Games, and Fans

Thanks to This Week's Podcast Sponsor

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We usually think of money as something very practical, concrete, and secular; we earn it, save it, spend it, and crunch the numbers behind it. But money is never just about money: it reflects our values, our priorities — and even our spiritual life.

My guest today, Tom Levinson, knows this well. He’s a financial advisor who studied religion at Harvard Divinity School and thought about becoming a rabbi. Now, he helps people navigate not just their portfolios, but the deeper questions that come with them.

In today’s conversation, Tom shares the greater meaning around money, what the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic religions say about it, and how financial practices like budgeting can be spiritual disciplines.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• All That's Holy: A Young Guy, an Old Car, and the Search for God in America by Tom Levinson
• AoM Article: The Spiritual Disciplines — Simplicity
• AoM Podcast #363: Budgeting Doesn’t Have to Suck

Connect With Tom Levinson

• Tom's podcast: Money, Meet Meaning
• Tom on LinkedIn

Thanks to This Week's Podcast Sponsor

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For decades, fitness culture has tended to break people into two categories: you’re either a strength guy or an endurance guy. You lift heavy or run far — but not both.

But my guest today says you don't have to choose; you can excel at both modalities and be ready for anything.

Alex Viada is a coach, a physiologist, and the author of The Hybrid Athlete. He’s a powerlifter who's also completed Ironman triathlons, and he's deadlifted 700 pounds and run an ultramarathon in the same week. Even if your goals are much more modest — you'd like to, say, set some weightlifting PRs in the gym and be able to run a decent 5k — Alex's training philosophy can help you combine lifting and endurance in a smart, sustainable way that builds true all-around fitness.

In our conversation, Alex explains how to combine training for strength with distance sports like running or cycling, how to test your progress, how to recognize and avoid the two kinds of fatigue, and why becoming a hybrid athlete will help you live more adventurously — and more capably.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Alex's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #860: Get Fit, Not Fried — The Benefits of Zone 2 Cardio
• AoM Article: A Guide to the Biggest Thing Missing From Your Fitness Routine — Zone 2 Training
• AoM Podcast #970: The Misconceptions of HIIT (And the Role It Can Play in Your Fitness Routine)
• AoM Podcast #787: Run Like a Pro (Even If You’re Slow)
• AoM Podcast #777: Becoming a Hybrid Athlete

Connect With Alex Viada

• Complete Human Performance
• Alex on IG

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Most of us chase goals — starting a business, running a marathon, getting a promotion — without ever asking: What are the actual odds this will work?

My guest today says those odds aren’t just graspable — they’re hackable.

Kyle Austin Young is a strategy consultant and the author of Success Is a Numbers Game. He argues that every goal comes with a hidden probability of success or failure, and by thinking strategically — rather than just hoping for the best — you can tilt the odds in your favor.

In the first part of our conversation, Kyle explains the three common ways people pursue goals and their potential downsides. We then unpack how to approach your goals through probability hacking. We discuss how to spot the weak links in your plan, how to map out a “success diagram” that helps you avoid common pitfalls and pursue goals more intelligently, and how to use these same principles to know when you should quit a goal.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #387: Think Like a Poker Player to Make Better Decisions
• AoM Podcast #840: When to Quit
• AoM Podcast #490: Can You Learn to Be Lucky?

Connect With Kyle Austin Young

• Kyle's website
• Kyle on LinkedIn

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Note: This is a rebroadcast.

Happiness is the subject of thousands of articles, podcasts, and scientific studies. Yet all this focus on happiness doesn’t seem to be making people any happier. In fact, the more they try to be happy, especially by fighting to get rid of bad feelings and cling to good ones, the more unhappy people often become.

My guest would say that the first step in escaping this negative cycle is redefining what happiness even means — thinking of it not as a state of feeling good but of doing good.

His name is Russ Harris and he’s a therapist and the author of The Happiness Trap.

Today on the show, Russ explains how struggling against difficult feelings and thoughts just makes them stronger — amplifying instead of diminishing stress, anxiety, depression, and self-consciousness — and how simply obeying your emotions doesn’t work out any better. He then unpacks the alternative approach to happiness espoused by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. With ACT, you allow both hard and pleasant feelings to coexist, and unhook from the latter so that they no longer jerk you around. This allows you to focus on taking action on your values to create a meaningful, flourishing life, or in other words, real happiness.

Resources Related to the Episode

• AoM Podcast #614: Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life With the Founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Steven Hayes
• AoM Article: From Overwhelmed to Empowered — How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take Control

Connect With Russ Harris

• Russ’ Website

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Books are everywhere. They're so common, they're easy to take for granted. But my guest argues that they’re worth fully appreciating — because the book isn’t just a container for content; it’s a revolutionary technology for shaping culture and thought.

Joel Miller is a former publishing executive, an editor, a book reviewer, and the author of The Idea Machine: How Books Built Our World and Shape Our Future. Today on the show, Joel argues that to appreciate the power of the book, you have to look at its design: how it's constructed, how we interact with it, and how its evolution transformed the way we think, learn, and communicate. He walks us through a fascinating history of the book as a physical object, from Augustine reading under a fig tree, to medieval monks introducing word spacing and punctuation, to the printing press’s world-altering explosion of information. We also explore how novels changed our emotional and social intelligence, how silent reading birthed individual interpretation, and why, even in an age of video and AI, books still matter.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM book-related archives
• Dying Breed Article: Why I Hate Making (and Watching) Online Videos
• AoM Article: Why Men Should Read More Fiction
• AoM Article: Fiction for Men as Suggested by Art of Manliness Readers
• AoM Podcast #1,057: The Power of the Notebook — The History and Practice of Thinking on Paper

Connect With Joel Miller

• Miller's Book Review

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