In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Texas-based Claudette Fette about raising her son Aaron through schizoaffective disorder, the complexities of finding proper support, and the painful realities of imperfect systems and desperate decisions. This frank, compassionate conversation explores multi-generational trauma, the struggle for diagnosis, and the human side of surviving—and learning from—the unexpected path of parenting a child with serious mental illness.

About the Guest:

Claudette Fette is an occupational therapist, university lecturer, and lived-experience mental health advocate based in North Texas. After decades spent navigating systems for her son Aaron, Claudette became committed to sharing their story and promoting evidence-based approaches in both family and school settings. She is co-author of "No Saints Here: A Cautionary Tale of Mental Health, Illness and the Cost of Ignorance in the Lone Star State," a memoir written with Aaron chronicling their struggles, lessons, and hope.

Quote from the Episode:

"Guilt is not as useful. So if it does something, if it helps motivate me to get Aaron's story out there and talk about things in public that I wouldn't otherwise want to have talked about, then it is useful. If it doesn't motivate something that helps, can you really afford it?" — Claudette Fette

Main Topics Covered:

• Raising a child with schizoaffective disorder and multi-layered trauma
• How lack of resources and inadequate systems lead families to extreme decisions
• The impact of early childhood adversity, school struggles, and misdiagnosis
• Why behavioral approaches can be harmful when mistaken for mental illness
• The realities of abusive residential treatment programs and lost trust
• The power of wraparound services, restorative justice, and strength-based models
• Navigating judgment, isolation, and the need for supportive family networks
• Lessons for advocacy, compassion, and building mental health literacy

Timestamps:

[00:00:07] Welcome and Claudette’s home in North Texas

[00:01:10] Holiday challenges for big families

[00:02:07] Aaron’s story: early adversity, childhood hallucinations, and lack of parental readiness

[00:06:01] Schizoaffective disorder diagnosis and unique challenges in school

[00:16:31] Resource scarcity and "moving for specialized care"

[00:17:20] Early behavioral challenges vs. underlying mental illness

[00:25:04] Misdiagnosis and medical pathways: ADHD to acute residential care

[00:31:51] Straight—abusive institutional “treatment” and the aftermath

[00:35:16] Aaron living on the streets and “hopping trains”

[00:41:23] Magical thinking: what would have helped

[00:47:15] Isolation, judgment, and coping as a parent

[00:50:49] Sharing Aaron and Claudette’s story through their book

[00:58:35] Claudette’s personal life, entertainment, and ideal vacation

Special Offer from the Guest:

Claudette invites listeners to explore her and Aaron’s book, "No Saints Here," offering authentic, practical insight into family mental health. For podcast listeners, she extends an offer to connect and share resources, stories, and support. Order on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9781965766064

Note from the show: Guest offers are often limited-time and limited quantity. If you have an issue redeeming the guest offer please reach out to the guest or vendor directly.

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's...

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Chicago-based Valerie Friedlander about how intentional choices, including something as small as changing the music you listen to, can lead to major life shifts. Valerie opens up about her journey from family dynamics shaped by addiction, to her self-awareness breakthroughs in college, and her long-standing love affair with music as a tool for emotional processing and personal growth.

About the Guest:

Valerie Friedlander is a certified life coach, podcast host of Mindset Unlimited, and lifelong Chicagoan with deep roots in music, creativity, and self-development. Valerie is passionate about supporting women through life and career transitions, helping them unpack old patterns and create empowered, intentional lives. She offers coaching, workshops, and a powerful Energy Leadership Index assessment.

Main Topics Covered:

• Valerie’s roots in Chicago and her family’s musical legacy.
• The ripple effect of growing up in a family impacted by addiction and recovery.
• Why music is both an emotional touchstone and a tool for moving through difficult feelings.
• Valerie’s “epiphany moment” realizing she could make different choices about the soundtrack of her life—and what that symbolized for bigger life changes.
• The importance of intentionality, pausing before responding, and recognizing where we do (and don’t) have agency.
• Navigating relationships, boundaries, and self-awareness from college through adulthood.
• Playlists, parenting, technology, and evolving ways to connect with others.
• The distinction between self-reflection for growth and unhelpful self-judgment about past choices.
• How Valerie brings these insights to her coaching practice.

Quote from the Episode:

“I can choose what I resonate with and what serves me... I can choose not to stay there. I can choose to do things that allow me more room in my experience.” — Valerie Friedlander

Timestamps: [00:00:06] Introductions, Chicago roots, and indigenous land acknowledgments

[00:02:17] Valerie's love of celebrating with food and cake-making adventures

[00:04:03] How music—and Amy Mann’s “Magnolia” soundtrack—became the soundtrack to a pivotal life shift

[00:13:48] College, codependency, family recovery, and the toolbox of self-help

[00:20:50] The power of self-awareness and talking it out loud

[00:32:38] Navigating relationships with pause, consent, and intention

[00:40:27] Curating music, playlists, and the power of intentional emotional shifts

[00:44:27] Self-reflection, choices, and patterns across adulting

[00:55:24] Valerie’s coaching philosophy and how to connect

[00:57:38] Final fun questions: movement, research, and connection styles

Special Offer from the Guest:

The Energy Leadership™ Index (ELI) Assessment. Normally $375. Use the code IMPERFECT for 60% off. https://valeriefriedlander.com/AdultingELI

Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The...

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Connecticut based Karen C.L. Anderson about her decision to go “no contact” with a parent, the impact of childhood trauma and shame, and the path to healing and self-acceptance. Karen shares her own story of estrangement from her mother, breaking generational cycles, and creating a life rooted in intentional identity and boundaries.

About the Guest:

Karen C.L. Anderson is an author, coach, and sought-after voice in the field of mother-daughter relationships. Her latest book, You Are Not Your Mother, and her coaching practice help adult daughters and mothers understand and shift family patterns, recover from shame, and create healthier boundaries. Karen brings a blend of lived experience, deep empathy, and practical wisdom to the conversation.

Main Topics Covered:

• The slow, complicated process of deciding to go no contact with a parent
• Childhood trauma, neglect, and learning about shame
• Estrangement, cultural expectations, and family “rules”
• The emotional aftermath and healing that unfolds after setting boundaries
• Understanding nervous system responses, enmeshment, and generational cycles
• How new frameworks—including coaching and intentional identity—can change your relationship with shame
• The difference between reconciliation, boundaries, and acceptance

Quote from the Episode:

“I was trying and trying and trying and also thinking, well, there must be something wrong with me that I can't seem to get along with my mom... And then, I remember getting an email from her that said that she was disappointed in the person that I'd become. And it was like a knife in the heart.” — Karen C.L. Anderson

Timestamps:

[00:00:10] Welcome, where Karen calls home, and unconventional ways of celebrating

[00:01:27] Decision to cut off contact with her mom—process, context, and terminology

[00:04:47] Family structure, siblings, and growing up in blended families

[00:05:41] Parental loss and the compounding grief of estrangement

[00:07:28] Painful turning point: “I never felt safe with my mom”

[00:16:07] Substance abuse, neglect, and lack of support in childhood

[00:19:32] Adult friendship/enmeshment, codependency, and nervous system responses

[00:22:10] Recognizing shame—Brené Brown and the awakening to inner narratives

[00:24:33] Modalities and self-development: what helped (and what didn’t)

[00:29:50] Setting a boundary: the practicalities and emotional fallout of no contact

[00:36:02] Long-term impact, breaking generational cycles, and finding contentment

[00:38:18] Karen’s work helping adult daughters and/or mothers heal and set boundaries

[00:41:09] Fun quick questions—morning routines, favorite books, and Italian ice

Karen’s Book is on Amazon and Bookshop.org

https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9781684812660

https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your-Mother/dp/1684812666

Note from the show: Guest offers are often limited-time and limited quantity. If you have an issue redeeming the guest offer please reach out to the guest or vendor directly.

Join the conversation on social. Find the Art of Imperfect Adulting on Instagram @theartof_imperfect_adulting YouTube @imperfectadulting and TikTok @imperfectadulting

If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Click here and pitch yourself.

We invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of...