TMIT 38: Choose Guilt Over Resentment (Boundaries Part 2)
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This week on The Most Important Thing, we start with a new family favorite game (Sardines 🐟) and end up somewhere much deeper: authority — what it means to claim it as adults and how to submit to it without losing ourselves.
In this episode, we explore:
- Claiming authority (“adulting”)
- Moving out of “please the group” mode into values-aligned choices for our family
- Boundaries 2.0: revisiting decisions we made in survival mode
- Trusting our intuition and setting boundaries without emotional leakage
- The messy reality of changing roles and expectations with people who’ve helped us in earlier seasons
- Submitting to legitimate authority (staying teachable)
- Staying humble, curious, and open to wisdom beyond ourselves
- Greg’s story about why it’s hard to trust guidance from people he knows deeply
- Letting books, mentors, and lived experience shape us — without outsourcing our judgment
- Connecting to something larger than ourselves so we’re neither too arrogant nor too small
- Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies and how we relate to expectations
- Danielle as an Upholder (meets inner + outer expectations) and Greg as a Rebel (resists both)
- How those styles shape the way we set boundaries, take advice, and hold authority in our home
- Take the Four Tendencies Quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/
- A mantra for this season: “Choose guilt over resentment.”
- Why saying no may come with guilt — but saying yes when we shouldn’t often breeds long-term resentment
- How we’re trying to model this for our kids in how we protect our time, energy, and family culture
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