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It's one of the most painful thoughts that haunts us after leaving: "Why did I stay so long?" In this episode, we dive deep into the complex emotions around timing and regret after ending a difficult relationship or marriage.

You'll discover why that voice in your head saying "I should have left sooner" is both completely normal and incredibly unfair to yourself. We explore the invisible forces that keep us tethered—trauma bonds, financial fears, children's needs, societal pressure, and the hope that things will change.

This isn't about beating yourself up for "wasted time." Instead, we'll reframe those years as part of your journey and growth. You'll learn why self-compassion is crucial for healing and how to honor both your survival instincts and your courage to finally leave.

We'll also address the myth of "perfect timing" and why there's never a "right" moment to upend your life. By the end of this episode, you'll understand that your timeline was exactly what it needed to be—and that regret can coexist with pride in your strength.

If you've ever wondered "What took me so long?"—this episode is for you. It's time to release the shame and embrace your resilience.

Topics covered:

• Understanding trauma bonds and why they keep us stuck
• The difference between regret and self-blame
• How to practice self-compassion during healing
• Reframing "lost time" as necessary preparation
• Moving from regret to empowerment.

Support the show

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit TheRestartAcademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: hello@therestartacademy.com/support@therestartacademy.com
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  © 2025...

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Why Your Standards After Divorce Make You 'Undateable' (Good)

"You're too picky." "You need to lower your expectations." "You're not getting any younger." Sound familiar? If you're getting pressure to settle for less than you deserve just because you're divorced, this episode is for you.

In this empowering conversation, I'm flipping the script on the criticism divorced women get for having standards. Spoiler alert: if having standards makes you "undateable" to men who can't meet them, then congratulations - your standards are working exactly as they should.

You'll discover:

• Why your post-divorce standards aren't "too high" - they're hard-earned wisdom from lived experience
• The difference between having standards and having unrealistic expectations (and why most divorced women actually have very reasonable requirements)
• Why society is so uncomfortable with women who know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it
• How your divorce taught you what you absolutely won't accept again (and why that's beautiful, not bitter)
• The myth that desperation is attractive and why confidence is what actually draws quality people
• Why being "undateable" to the wrong men is the best filter system you could ask for
• The pressure to settle because of age, kids, or "limited options" (and why that's garbage)
• How your standards protect you from repeating past mistakes and keep you available for someone worthy
• What reasonable post-divorce standards actually look like in real life
• Why the right person will appreciate your selectiveness instead of asking you to lower your bar

If you've been made to feel like you're asking for too much, being unrealistic, or that you should be grateful for any attention you get, this episode will remind you that you deserve to be treated well - and that refusing to settle is actually a superpower.

sit back, relax and enjoy!

Support the show

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit TheRestartAcademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: hello@therestartacademy.com/support@therestartacademy.com
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  © 2025...

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Here's something nobody warns you about when you're getting divorced: your married friends are probably going to disappear. Not all of them, but most of them. And while it's going to hurt like hell at first, it might actually be the best thing that could happen to your social life.

In this brutally honest episode, I'm preparing you for one of the most painful secondary losses of divorce - the friends who can't handle your new reality and slowly (or quickly) fade out of your life.

You'll learn about:

• The timeline of friendship loss and what to expect in the months after your divorce
• Why your divorce makes married friends uncomfortable (spoiler: it's not really about you)
• The different types of disappearing friends - from the "slow fade" to the "judge" to the "threatened" friend
• How couple friendships get messy and why you might lose access to entire social circles
• Why some married women see divorced women as a threat to their own marriages
• The exhausting reality of pretending everything is fine around friends who can't handle your truth
• How your divorce forces people to examine their own relationships (and why they resent you for it)
• The friends who will surprise you by showing up vs. the ones who will disappoint you by disappearing
• Why this friend filter is actually doing you a favor (even though it doesn't feel like it)
• How to build new, more authentic friendships with people who actually understand your life

This episode is for you if:

• Your married friends have gotten weird and distant since your divorce
• You're feeling socially isolated and wondering if it's something you did
• Former couple friends are still inviting your ex but not you
• You're tired of censoring yourself around friends who can't handle your reality
• You feel like you're losing your entire social circle along with your marriage
• You need permission to stop chasing friendships that aren't serving you anymore

Support the show

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit TheRestartAcademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: hello@therestartacademy.com/support@therestartacademy.com
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  © 2025...