Somewhere in the deserts of Mars, a hand falls to the ground, twitches once, and then ceases to move forevermore. The last of the forces sent to P’razz has been extinguished. The Venusian attack was swift and devastating. With the human economy decimated, there was no time or money to invent a bulwark against the arc lightning cannons, and nothing to prevent the loss of one of the most important strategic locations in all of the solar system.

In a lead-lined command center on Earth, a general puts their head in their hands. No one says anything. The comm links beep out and fall silent.

Finally, a great sigh rumbles out from the general’s chest. They look up, looking each and every person in the situation room in the eye. Words aren’t needed to express (in fact, couldn’t convey) the sorrowful resolve it inspires in everyone in the room.

“There’s only one thing to do,” the general says, and everyone knows how the sentence is going to end before it clears their lips.

“Send out the fifth episode of Swords Against Cerebus.”

If you’re hearing this, it means you have clearance to hear episode five of Swords Against Cerebus, covering issues 9 (“Swords Against Imesh”) and 10 (“Merchant of Unshib”). Important take-aways include:

The economic situation of Estarcion (it’s a mess)

The invention of buz (it’s a mistake)

The remarkable sexlessness of Cerebus’ misogyny (it’s, well, bad)

Oh, and Cerebus gets his back blasted by balls.

Find your hosts elsewhere:

Ed’s comic, IA IA IA.

Ed’s previous podcast, News of the World (available wherever you get your podcasts).

Sophia Goodnight’s podcast, We Have To Talk About Dash Rendar (also available wherever you get your podcasts).

Have a hot tip on Venusian battle plans? Email us at swordsagainstcerebus@gmail.com!

Swords Against Cerebus’s theme song was composed by Avery Crimes!

And follow Swords Against Cerebus through our RSS Feed, on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, or just at Gruppeshrike!

Find your hosts elsewhere:

Ed’s comic, IA IA IA.

Ed’s previous podcast, News of the World (available wherever you get your podcasts).

Sophia Goodnight’s podcast, We Have To Talk About Dash Rendar (also available wherever you get your podcasts).

Got a Cerebus plush to donate? Email us at swordsagainstcerebus@gmail.com!

Swords Against Cerebus’s theme song was composed by Avery Crimes!

And follow Swords Against Cerebus through our RSS Feed, on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, or just at Gruppeshrike!

Do you smell that? No, it’s not a wet aardvark — it’s Swords Against Cerebus episode 3, covering issues 5 (“The Idol”) and 6 (“The Secret”)!

While your hosts felt these issues were a breath of fresh air after issues 3 and 4, we’re also expert haters, so fear not — there’s plenty of shocking twists and turns in this episode. We’re setting our sights on Phil Seuling, the ending of issue 6, and (don’t say you didn’t see it coming) Dave Sim, again! You don’t actually need to write down every single embarrassing thought you’ve ever had!

Anyway, some important characters are introduced, or whatever.

Find your hosts elsewhere:

Ed’s comic, IA IA IA.

Ed’s previous podcast, News of the World (available wherever you get your podcasts).

Sophia Goodnight’s podcast, We Have To Talk About Dash Rendar (also available wherever you get your podcasts).

Have questions about the eternal soul? Email us at swordsagainstcerebus@gmail.com!

Swords Against Cerebus’s theme song was composed by Avery Crimes!

And follow Swords Against Cerebus through our RSS Feed, on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, or just at Gruppeshrike!