We're talking about Cobra Kai season 2, episode 2! Miyagi-do has students. Meanwhile, the Cobra Kais have trouble down at the cement mixer. Also includes our Friday the 13th* special: Jason Takes the Valley!

*Disclaimer: episode recorded, but not released, on Friday the 13th. Can't say which one, but it was a while ago. Editing audio is hard and it takes forever.

STPJ wasn't on hiatus, we were just brumating! Join our panel of Certified Kreese Enjoyers as we kick off our recap of Cobra Kai Season Two!

The season one finale has it all. Booze! Drugs! Pornography! Poor sportsmanship! Woke mind virus! Three-point kicks, one-point kicks! Kicks that don't count! Karate! Not-Karate! Who will win enough arbitrary points to take home the All Valley House Cup and be declared Karate Prefect? You don't know? This show came out in 2018...

They’re not so different, Daniel and Johnny. By the end of this episode they become even more not as different than they previously weren’t.

TTB: 16:59

Bully Rating: 2.5

Two dojos, both unalike in dignity (one boils hot pockets, the other buys potato salad),

In fair Reseda where we lay our scene.

In episode 8 we watch both dojos get some nature-based karate training involving trees and viral infections, while Daniel experiences the brutal nightmare of having a family. Also Ashley doesn't know who the good guy in Karate Kid was.

Our hosts also discuss Karate Kid’s spiritual prequel, Rocky (1976), aka Karate Kid Zero.

Body Count: 1 Pontiac Firebird, and also Hawk, probably (look, we want to be optimistic but let's face it, he's a dead bird walking)

TTB: 0.09!!!

Bully Rating: 3 (they signed a waiver)

It's a real after-school-special of an episode when Mister Lawrence takes his stinky briefcase to learn how a karate bill becomes a karate law. Robbie the Beautiful Karate Baby learns a tough lesson about peer pressure, and Sam gets violent with Miguel down at the Golf N’ All-O-That or whatever it's called.

Time to Beers (TTB): 04:11

Bully Rating: 0.5/5

Anyone want to do some karate? Karate anyone? Anyone? Karate? Hey, who's up for some karate? Karate train, leaving the station (choo choo). Hey, karate time, first round is on me! Hey, did I hear you say karate? No? Karate people in the house raise those hands! Karate? With me? Anyone? Karate.

Time to Beers (TTB): 18:44

Bully Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Danny Larusso's NIMBY phase.

Time to Beers (TTB): N/A

Bully Rating: 1.75 out of 5