Support vs. Enabling: Confessions of a "Fix It" Friend
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Support vs. Enabling: Confessions of a "Fix It" Friend
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Support uplifts. Enabling anchors. One teaches people to swim; the other ties a weight around your own neck and jumps in after them.
As a life-long fix-it friend, I am often called upon to do things, support and uplift, not alongside of someone, but in front of them doing the work, enabling them to opt out of growth. I want to support and share in empowerment, not be put to work. Being supportive doesn’t mean being self-sacrificial. It means loving people enough to hold them accountable, even when it’s uncomfortable.
You can say no and still be kind.
You can pull back and still care.
You can stop rescuing someone and still love them deeply.
Because the most supportive thing you can do for a friend is believe in their capacity to take care of themselves.
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