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Memorial Day isn’t about burgers or sales—it’s about grief. This episode honors the ones who didn’t come home, and the weight we carry for them.

In this special Memorial Day episode of Structure & Scars, Nikki reflects on what this day truly means—not as a kickoff to summer, but as a moment of collective grief, memory, and reverence.

Drawing from her own family’s legacy of service, years spent leading community tributes, and her clinical work with veterans and first responders, Nikki unpacks the co-opting of Memorial Day, the emotional weight behind the Missing Man Table, and why calling them “heroes” often misses the point.

These weren’t superhumans. They were kids who did what needed to be done—and did it scared.

This is not a light episode.
But maybe it’s not supposed to be.

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EMS Week should be about more than cold pizza and a plastic tumbler. This episode is for the ones who keep showing up—even when no one shows up for them.

You don’t get into EMS for the recognition. You get into it because you’ve got guts, grit, and the nerve to show up when everything else is falling apart.

In this EMS Week bonus episode of Structure & Scars, therapist and trauma educator Nikki Hensler Gordon sets the appreciation posts aside and tells the truth: EMS is in crisis. The system runs on the backs of medics, EMTs, and field staff who are overworked, underpaid, and expected to carry trauma that no one wants to talk about.

We’re talking about:
- What EMS Week actually feels like in the field
- Why cold pizza and a coffee mug don’t cut it
- How moral injury shows up in responders
- Why first responder wellness is a public health issue
- What real recognition—not performative gratitude—looks like

This episode is for the ones holding it together with duct tape and muscle memory. The ones who keep showing up even when no one shows up for them.

This one’s for the medics.

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Trust isn’t a value—it’s a privilege. And when leaders demand it instead of earning it, what they’re asking for is compliance, not connection.

Some organizations love to say “trust is one of our core values.” But here’s the truth: trust isn’t a value—it’s a privilege. It has to be earned. It has to be honored. And when it’s demanded instead of demonstrated, it becomes a weapon.

In this episode, therapist and former crisis leader Nikki Hensler Gordon unpacks how trust is often used as a performance metric, a loyalty test, or a silencer—especially in toxic workplaces, helping professions, and hierarchical systems. She explores how language like “we’re a family” or “we value transparency” can be used to gaslight, isolate, or punish anyone who challenges the narrative.

We’ll talk about:

• The difference between real trust and performative trust
• What institutional betrayal actually looks like
• Why “trust us” often means “don’t question us”
• How survivors of trauma can reclaim their own internal compass in the face of manipulation

This one’s for anyone who’s been told to trust a system that didn’t earn it—and then blamed when they got hurt.