Forgiveness is often talked about like it's simple- something you should do if you want to heal. But what if it doesn't feel freeing… what if it feels impossible?

In this episode, Dr. Zoe unpacks the complicated reality of forgiveness—why it's so hard, what it actually means, and why struggling with it doesn't make you broken.

You'll learn a new definition of forgiveness that removes pressure and shame, and offers a more honest path forward—one rooted in truth, grief, and self-compassion.


What You'll Learn
• Why forgiveness often feels like letting someone "off the hook"
• A redefining of forgiveness: giving up hope of a better past
• The hidden grief beneath forgiveness—and why it matters
• Why fear (not resentment) is often what blocks forgiveness
• The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation
• Why forgiveness isn't the first step in healing
• How to begin when forgiveness feels out of reach

Key Takeaway
Forgiveness isn't about excusing what happened or rushing to move on. It's about releasing the exhausting attempt to change the past- and allowing yourself to grieve what was lost so you can move forward with honesty and wholeness.

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Intensive: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who may be quietly struggling with forgiveness—and remind them they're not alone.

What if the thing you keep trying to change about yourself… isn't actually changeable?

And what if the same is true for your partner?

In this powerful and perspective-shifting conversation, I sit down with Dr. Denim Slade, author of Unlock Your C.O.R.E. Potential, to talk about temperament, relationships, and the freedom that comes when we stop trying to "fix" what was never meant to be fixed.

Dr. Slade brings decades of experience as a marriage and family therapist and coach, along with his CORE framework—a temperament-based system that helps people understand the parts of themselves that are innate and unchangeable.

Together, we explore the tension so many of us live in:
Trying to grow… while also needing to accept.

Because here's the truth:
Growth doesn't come from changing your core nature.
It comes from understanding it—and learning how to work with it.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why temperament is not something you can change—and why that's actually good news
• The difference between who you are vs. what you've learned
• How many relationship struggles come from trying to change your partner's wiring
• What happens when you finally stop seeing yourself (or them) as "the problem"
• How to work with your temperament instead of against it
• The surprising freedom that comes with acceptance over self-rejection
• Where this intersects with Complex Shame—and how shame keeps us trying to "fix" ourselves to be loved

A Shift to Consider:
If you've been living with the quiet belief that:
"I'm too much…"
"They should be different…"
"If I could just change this, everything would work…"

This conversation invites you to pause.
What if the work isn't changing your core…
but understanding it?

About Dr. Denim Slade
Dr. Denim Slade is a relationship expert, coach, and author with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples improve their lives and relationships. He holds a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Science and is the creator of the CORE temperament framework—a personality system designed to help people understand the innate, unchangeable aspects of who they are and how those impact their relationships.

Learn more about his work: https://becomehealthyandhappy.com/

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Intensive: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who needs hope in their relationships. And don't forget to subscribe to Stronger in the Difficult Places so you never miss an episode

You are my people.

Everything I create- this podcast, my writing, these emails- is for one reason:
to help you have a better relationship with yourself and with the people you love.

And when you ask me questions, I listen. I really listen.

I answered this question today because even though she didn't share many details, I could feel the anguish in her words…
and I remember what it felt like to be in that place.

Here's what she asked:

"Dr. Zoe, what do I do when overwhelming shame is keeping me from seeking the help I truly need? How do I even begin to find the words—or the strength—to reach out when I feel so ashamed of myself?"

If you've ever felt that… you are not alone.

Tune in to hear my answer.

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Intensive: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who needs hope in their relationships. And don't forget to subscribe to Stronger in the Difficult Places so you never miss an episode