I know. I do tend to stumble through my thoughts, at times spilling out a stream of consciousness. Nevertheless, I just recently realised that it's been just over forty years since I joined the Royal Ulster Constabulary. I hadn't a clue then, and, most likely, still haven't?! So, I've tried to restrict what I want to say in this episode - the vast bulk of the subject matter I raise I've already covered in previous episodes about the Hunger Strikes, commemoration of the past, 'imagined communities' (especially Loyalist - and how Loyalism could quickly turn on the police if, for example, Orange parades were rerouted).

Listening to myself I wonder at times if I do have some form of Stockholm Syndrome? I mean, I've always tried to conduct myself with even a modicum of empathy, or need to understand counter-narratives and opposing ideologies, but have I strayed over the 'empathy line' too far? I don't know. Many of my ex-RUC colleagues would say I have and that, being of 'soft-mind' and a traitor to organisational memory / mythology, I'm welcome to stay there!

Anyway, tomorrow I begin scripting out my episodes returning to the subject of asset management, the Intelligence Services, collusion, murder, relative legislative points and things like RIPA.

I hope you'll join me - if you make it through this episode unscathed, or just bemused!

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