Playing time is a pressure cooker because it pokes at every parent trigger: fairness, status, control, fear, and helplessness. And if we’re honest, it can feel personal—even when it isn’t. In today's conversation, we deliver a fantastic "reframe" to help you model a healthy response to non-preferred outcomes so your teen learns the real life skill: dealing with disappointment without losing identity, effort, or connection. You’ll learn how to spot your “yeah, buts,” reset your expectations, and have the kind of calm, clear conversation that builds trust—especially when your teen is already on edge.

Let's gooooooooooooo Most Valuable Parents!!

The Timestamps

00:00 Navigating Playing Time and Parental Pride

03:23 Understanding Control and Helplessness in Sports

06:29 Expectations and Communication with Teens

08:43 Life Lessons from Sports and Non-Preferred Outcomes

11:42 The Duct Tape Analogy: Managing Emotions

14:40 The 24-Hour Rule: Emotional Recovery

16:18 Reframing the Parent-Teen Dynamic

Takeaways

-Playing time can induce trauma for both parents and teens.

-Understanding what is within our control is crucial in handling "playing time."

-Parents should model healthy emotional responses to outcomes.

-The 24-hour rule helps in managing emotional reactions.

-Identifying 'yeah, buts' can clarify our emotional responses.

-Being an anchor for our teens is more important than rescuing them.

-Life skills are learned in sports by responding well to non-preferred outcomes.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

Let’s gooooooooo moms and dads–you got this!

-Nate & Steve

Newsflash! Life isn’t fair. Yep, we all know it! And high school sports and competition are no exception. "It's not fair!" -- the common refrain heard among parents and players and yes, even coaches! And guess what? You are probably right when you're screaming "that is NOT fair!"

But your teen athlete or performer doesn’t needs a parent who coaches them into Blaming, Complaining, Defending and Explaining. This perpetuates a victim mindset!

In this episode, we coach you through the two things you can always control: your perspective and your response. We’ll unpack why complaining feels productive (but usually backfires), how to keep connection strong when emotions run hot, and how to lead like a calm, mild manager instead of an angry, perturbed prosecutor. If you want your teen athlete to build resilience and confidence under pressure, this starts with how you handle “it's not fair!!”

The Timestamps

00:00 The Fairness Addiction

03:14 Playing Time and Parental Perspectives

05:59 The Poison of Complaining

08:45 Understanding Coaches' Decisions

11:34 Perspective and Emotional Discipline

13:30 Important Questions for Parents

16:02 The Prosecutor vs. Manager Mindset

18:59 Modeling Behavior for Teens

Takeaways

• Fairness can become an addiction that affects our mindset.
• Complaining about unfairness can lead to negative outcomes.
• Life is inherently unfair, and we must learn to accept that.
• Parents should focus on what they can control in sports.
• Understanding the coach's perspective can help mitigate feelings of unfairness.
• Modeling emotional discipline is crucial for parents.
• Questions can help parents gain perspective on their child's situation.
• It's important to avoid labeling coaches negatively without understanding their decisions.
• Parents should strive to be managers rather than prosecutors in sports situations.
• Maintaining a positive outlook can benefit both parents and athletes.

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100%

-Nate & Steve

Here’s the hard truth: the moment your teen feels evaluated, the conversation gets worse—and so does your influence. In this episode, we help you build emotional safety without lowering standards, and teach you how to stay calm when your teen isn’t. You’ll get simple, real-life ways to respond when things get tense--when you start feeling "judgy"--plus actionable steps you can use today to reduce conflict, strengthen connection, and support your teen athlete’s mindset the smart way.

Hang in there because we're going to drop The 5 Second Lane Test, a simple tool you'll want to have in your Parental Toolkit when you are about ready to make a communication error. This tool is dynamite and will help you blow up the old you and allow you to parent from a neutral position!! Let's goooooooooooo!

The Timestamps

00:00 Navigating Parenting Challenges

02:58 The Role of Non-Parental Coaches

05:51 Building a Safe Home Base

08:33 Understanding Emotional Regulation

11:29 The Importance of Neutrality

14:04 Action Steps for Parents

16:29 The Five Second Lane Test

Hey there Most Valuable Parents! We are creating a world-class podcast for parents of teen athletes and performers on YouTube. We can also be found on the other usual places you get your podcasts like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

New episodes drop every MONDAY.

We would be most grateful if you would SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel where our unique show for parents of teen athletes and performers resides. The name of our podcast is the same name as our YouTube channel: The STOP PARENTING & START COACHING Podcast!

We're also posting valuable content on LinkedIn. Please follow us and connect with us: LinkedIn Steve Galley

And, there’s more–there always isn't there?! If you’ve read this far you probably are totally nerdy and giddy about helping teen athletes and performers to excel. Click here to pick up our 100%

-Nate & Steve