Hello and thank you for joining me for another episode of Carl vs Reality! I’m currently hunkered down in my podcasting tree—it’s freezing cold, the full range of winter weather is hitting me at once, but honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This week, I’m reflecting on my recent holiday to Center Parcs. Now, I love a bit of "faux nature" as much as the next guy (woods with a Starbucks? Sign me up), but the highlight—or perhaps the lowlight—was our spa morning.

Spas are strange, aren't they? We pay good money to sit in rooms that are either too damp or way too hot, all while walking around in nothing but a robe. Within seconds of entering the changing room, I was already on the back foot (let's just say I saw more of a fellow guest than I had planned for).

In this episode, I’m diving into the weird world of spa etiquette, from the couples having hushed arguments about dinner to the people who insist on bringing their phones into a "disconnect" zone. I also chat about:

• The Plunge Pool Challenge: Is it "cryo-therapy" or just a "who’s the most manly" competition?
• Hippie Habits: My experience with flotation tanks (and the one thing they don’t tell you about feeling seasick while tripping balls like Lisa Simpson).
• The Winter Shorts Mystery: Why do blokes insist on wearing shorts in a blizzard? I’ve officially started a policy of not acknowledging them.
• Backyard Zen: My failed attempts at recreating the spa atmosphere at home while living next to a playground full of mopeds.

Whether you're a "card-carrying hippie" like me or you just want to know what a spa breakfast (poached eggs on sourdough, if you're curious) looks like, grab a warm drink and join me in the tree.

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