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There’s no such thing as perfect sobriety.

In this episode, Matt and Steve explore why learning from mistakes is part of the process — not a failure. They talk about comparison in recovery, changing needs over time, and how wanting things to “click faster” can quietly work against us.

This is an honest conversation about patience, humility, and staying willing — even when you realize you’re still a present-day alcoholic doing the work one day at a time.

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What does “rock bottom” actually look like — and do you really have to hit it before you get sober? In this episode, Matt and Steve break down the biggest myth in recovery: that you need a dramatic collapse, a lost job, a destroyed marriage, or a trip to the ER to justify getting help.

We talk about how comparison keeps people stuck (“my story isn’t as bad as theirs”), why so many of us lie to ourselves about how bad things really are, and how easy it is to miss the quieter signs that alcohol is running your life. Matt shares how his bottom wasn’t a crisis but a moment of clarity, and Steve talks about the years he spent ignoring warning signs because he wasn’t “that bad.”

You’ll hear:

• Why comparing your drinking to others can keep you sick
• How subtle “off-ramp moments” can be the real bottom
• What it means when someone tells you, “You might have a problem”
• Why sobriety isn’t about subtracting alcohol — it’s about adding tools, people, and freedom
• The truth about mood regulation and why we drink when we’re “too happy” or “too sad”
• Why you never need a catastrophe to decide you’re done

If you’re sober-curious, questioning your drinking, or wondering if it’s “bad enough,” this episode will hit home. You don’t need to lose everything to get your life back.

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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What happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of Loss and Love. Emily takes us inside her raw and unfiltered journey through addiction, motherhood, and the generational trauma that shaped her story.

From pumping and dumping breast milk in rehab to uncovering family secrets that spanned decades, Emily shares what it’s like to live two lives—one for the world and one in the shadows. We talk about the shame that keeps us silent, the lies we tell ourselves, and the courage it takes to break free.

If you’ve ever wondered what recovery looks like when everything feels impossible, this conversation will hit home. Emily’s story is messy, real, and full of hope.

Listen now for a brutally honest look at addiction, resilience, and why telling the truth might be the most radical act of all.

Click here for Emily's book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and from Emily's website.

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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What do you do when your body forces you to slow down — and your mind wants to fight it? In this week’s episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life struggle of acceptance after Matt was sidelined by Lyme disease. No gym, no long walks, barely enough energy to get through the grocery store. It felt like life was slipping by… and the only way forward was accepting what is.

Acceptance is one of the core tools of recovery. But it’s also one of the hardest. It can feel like surrender. It can feel like failure. It can feel like giving up. But as we talk about in this episode, acceptance isn’t quitting — it’s acknowledging reality so we can respond with honesty, humility, and sanity.

We explore:

• How illness brought Matt face-to-face with limitations
• Why rest can feel like punishment
• The difference between being powerless and being helpless
• Leveling pride to ask for help
• How acceptance reduces frustration, anger, and burnout
• Why control and perfectionism make acceptance so challenging
• What the recovery program teaches us about letting go

If you struggle with slowing down, asking for help, or accepting the things you emotionally want to resist — this episode is for you.

We’d love to hear your story:

What does acceptance mean in your life?

Email us at matt@soberfriendspod.com or connect on soberfriendspod.substack.com

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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Turning 50 has Matt thinking about milestones — in life, in recovery, and in all the small moments that really shape who we become. In this episode, the guys dig into what “milestones” truly mean once you’ve been around a while. Sure, the chips and anniversaries matter, but the real growth often happens in the quiet, everyday wins: making an amends, showing up for someone you love, or just staying sober for another five minutes.

Matt and Steve swap stories about turning points big and small — from the first brave admission of “I have a problem” to learning how to fix mistakes, do better, and build new pathways in life. Along the way, they reflect on how recovery isn’t about perfection or lofty goals, but about consistent, humble progress that adds up to a beautiful sober life.

Whether you’re on day one or year twenty-eight, this episode is a reminder that the milestones that matter most often don’t come with a chip — they come from living differently, one day at a time.

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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It’s Gratitude Month — but what if you don’t feel grateful? Matt and Steve talk about the kind of week that tests your patience, your sobriety, and your sanity. From corporate layoffs and sleepless nights to plumbing issues and family stress, it was one of those weeks. But a TikTok from a man recovering from cancer shifted Matt’s perspective — a reminder that gratitude isn’t about ignoring the mess, it’s about finding peace inside it. Join the guys as they explore how gratitude keeps us grounded, humble, and sober… even when life sucks.

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before investigation” still holds up today.

This isn’t about bashing AA — it’s about honest recovery, critical thinking, and finding a higher power that actually makes sense to you.

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”?

This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside.

We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to have a problem, and how the slow decline of high-functioning drinking erodes everything from your health to your happiness.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m still holding it together,” this episode is for you.

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.