What happens when the family you want doesn’t come with society’s approval?

At 41, Connie Rutherford made a decision that came with strong opinions: becoming a single mother by choice through a sperm donor.

What followed wasn’t just a fertility journey — it was a collision of family expectations, cultural beliefs, medical decisions, and the quieter question many people carry longer than they admit: Can I do this without a partner — and still be okay?

In this episode of Unpopular Decisions, Connie reflects on moving forward before she had proof it would all work out. She shares what it meant to navigate IVF, family resistance, and why her only regret is not doing it sooner.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Being told she was “robbing her children of a father” — and what reconciliation actually looked like
• IVF, embryo decisions, and trusting instinct when the data isn’t definitive
• The financial and emotional cost of choosing motherhood on your own terms
• Why doing something “alone” still requires a village
• The moment she realized waiting wasn’t making the decision easier — just louder

Listener Takeaways

• Approval often shows up after the decision, not before
• Medical expertise matters — but so does self-trust
• Waiting for certainty can be its own kind of risk
• Asking for help is not weakness — it’s wisdom
• There’s no universal timeline for motherhood, healing, or partnership

✨ Read more about Connie's journey in her memoir, Searching for Tadpoles: The Journey to Motherhood of a Single Mother by Choice

✨ Follow Unpopular Decisions for conversations about choices people usually explain only after they work out

✨ Share this with the friend who keeps saying, “I’m just trying to think it through”