There’s a version of love many of us were trained into: the kind you earn. Be agreeable, be impressive, don’t need too much, don’t make waves. When belonging becomes conditional, love becomes performance, and shame becomes the inner enforcer that keeps you “good,” useful, and exhausted.

In Episode 2, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT explores how conditional belonging turns intimacy into obedience and management, why being “low maintenance” is often a survival strategy, and how over-attunement (often mislabeled as being an “empath”) can be a trauma response rooted in vigilance. You’ll learn the difference between healthy empathy vs trauma empathy, how to spot the somatic signs you’re performing safety, and two experiments to move from performance to presence: the pause and one honest sentence.

If this landed, follow the show, share it, and leave a rating or review.

Additional Resources

Explore: VanessaBennett.com

Book: The Motherhood Myth

Community: Inner Compass Collective

Training: Inner Compass Academy

Connect with Inner Compass

Follow on Instagram

Connect with Vanessa Bennett:

Follow on Instagram

Follow on TikTok

Learn more on Substack

Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.