Louie’s therapist tells him his “direct communication” is actually defensiveness — and it sends him into an identity spiral. We talk about fear, softness, control, relationship triggers, autism traits, wanting to be chosen, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels like death.

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-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

We dig into the messy reality of defensiveness, vulnerability, emotional expression, fear, control, and communication patterns inside relationships. Louie shares how his therapist told him that his “direct communication” is actually a defense mechanism, and the conversation spirals into emotional avoidance, softness, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels impossible.

We break down:

• Why “direct communication” can actually be emotional defensiveness

• How vulnerability gets blocked by masculinity, shame & fear

• Autism traits, miscommunication, and not hearing what isn’t said

• Wanting to be chosen, fear of losing connection, and relationship insecurity

• Control vs. fear: trying to protect connection vs. micromanaging outcomes

• How delivery affects emotional safety (soft vs. blunt communication)

• Why asking for comfort feels like weakness

• Emotional funks, depression cycles, ADHD patterns & medication fears

• Relationship honesty, lying, guilt, and the messy ethics of confession

It’s raw, chaotic, vulnerable, funny, and painfully relatable — the perfect mix for a mental health, relationships, therapy talk podcast.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Michael talks about shutting down over Thanksgiving, emotional numbness, and the messy reality of grief. Louie breaks down triggers, embarrassment, childhood patterns, and why certain moments feel like personal attacks.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this week’s episode of Secondhand Therapy, we unpack the complicated mix of grief, emotional numbness, triggers, anger, and childhood conditioning that still shapes adult reactions. Michael opens up about spending Thanksgiving in bed, feeling emotionally shut down, and exploring why certain moments hit harder than others. Louie challenges him on avoidance, grief processing, and the stories we tell ourselves when intense emotions show up.

We also dive into:

• Why holiday grief hits unexpectedly

• Emotional numbness vs. dissociation

• Organizing grief so it stops overwhelming everything

• How embarrassment and shame block emotional release

• Anger, frustration, and “pretending” to be healed

• Nervous system triggers and why they feel like aggression

• Childhood patterns around attention and how they show up in adulthood

• Customer service, disappointment, and why small moments can activate big wounds

This is a raw, honest conversation about grief, emotional regulation, inner child responses, triggers, vulnerability, self-awareness, and healing,.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Louie shares a dream about his late partner that cracks open a huge conversation about grief, avoidance, triggers, and what it means to actually move forward. Michael challenges him, things get tense, and it turns into one of our most honest episodes yet.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this deeply personal episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack dreams, grief, unresolved emotions, and the complicated ways they show up in everyday life. Louie opens up about a dream involving his late partner and how it challenged his beliefs around meaning, symbolism, and emotional closure. Michael pushes back with questions about avoidance, grief processing, and what it means to “move forward” after loss.

Together, we explore:

• How dreams connect to subconscious processing

• The difference between honoring grief vs. being defined by it

• Avoidance, emotional triggers, and why they resurface years later

• How unresolved childhood and adult grief compounds

• Moving forward without “leaving someone behind”

• What it looks like when grief unexpectedly “finds you”

This episode is a vulnerable, honest look at grief, trauma, emotional regulation, subconscious processing, healing, and the messiness of being human—delivered with the same humor, tension, and real friendship you expect from this show.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod

Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105