When Discipline Turns Into Self-Punishment
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"Discipline is supposed to build you, not break you."
I've always been a disciplined person. Structure makes me feel safe. Lists make me feel like the world makes sense.
My Google Calendar looked like a game of Tetris. And for a long time, I loved it.
But discipline has a shadow side. And I didn't see it creeping in until I was already deep in it.
At some point, the rituals stopped feeling sacred. They started feeling punitive. Each unchecked box became proof I wasn't doing enough.
I told myself it was accountability. But really, it was punishment wearing a productivity badge.
In this episode, I share:
- The flight home from vacation when I started crying because I realized I didn't like the business I'd built
- How my discipline had turned into a cage—a golden one, but a cage nonetheless
- The moment another entrepreneur broke down in tears and I realized I wasn't alone
- Why I stopped tracking my to-dos and started tracking my got-dones
- The difference between routines born from love (saying good morning to the giraffes by the zoo) and routines born from fear (incessantly refreshing my inbox)
By the end, you'll be ready to ask yourself three questions:
- Where has discipline crossed into punishment?
- Which routines were born from love—and which from fear?
- And who could you let in to help carry the weight of your ambition?
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