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A single question in a quiet therapy room flipped my life from autopilot to honest: do you want to die or thrive? From that moment, I had to confront a pattern I’d dressed up as kindness—overgiving to be chosen, staying silent to keep the peace, and performing worthiness instead of living it. What followed was a raw inventory of relationships, work, and health where self-sabotage wore the mask of loyalty and hustle.

I share the personal stories that made the pattern undeniable—making everyone else’s dreams come true while mine gathered dust, ignoring my gut with a partner who was never really available, and carrying two roles in a business because I feared conflict more than burnout. We unpack why self-sabotage isn’t laziness or a lack of willpower; it’s protection gone wrong. Drawing on insights inspired by Brené Brown and Gabor Maté, we reframe shame into clarity and talk about how fear of rejection, abandonment, or even success can keep you stuck in cycles that feel noble but drain you dry.

Music helped me map the cost. Ed Sheeran’s Save Myself becomes a study in emotional economics: time, energy, and care are currencies, and running a constant deficit leads to bankruptcy of the spirit. Together, we walk through practical reflection prompts to close the leaks—where are you giving more than you receive, what boundary can you set and keep, how does your body respond when you even imagine choosing yourself? Expect turbulence. Some people will leave, and the quiet may feel loud. But the payoff is a life that no longer asks you to shrink.

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Thank you for listening. Spoken with love and light from Trina Stewart, Life's a Blog.

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