In this episode, Sam walks through his whole path — from a first, giggling encounter with a Playgirl magazine as a kid, through teenage confusion in a world that only offered "gay or straight" options, to the college girlfriend who finally handed him the word "bisexual." He talks candidly about early exploration, learning his boundaries, discovering men's masturbation clubs, his first kiss with a man, a three-year relationship, coming out to a future wife two weeks into dating, a long monogamous marriage, and rediscovering himself after divorce. Grayson listens, reacts, and draws out themes many Gen X bi men will recognize.

The second half gets practical: how fear of HIV/AIDS impacted a young bi Sam and how modern prevention methods (PrEP, DoxyPEP, and U=U) changed the picture, plus a frank, funny mini-topic on solo self-care (wink). Kicking off with the Word of the Week — "side" — this one is equal parts personal story and useful information.

Disclaimer: The hosts are not medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing in this podcast should be considered medical, legal, or psychological advice. Be sure to speak with a qualified provider about testing, medications, and your own health and relationships.

Terms

• Side — enjoys sex with men but generally neither tops nor bottoms (oral, mutual masturbation, making out)
• Top / bottom / verse — the three general "positions" you'll see on hook-up or gay dating apps, in addition to "side"
• The "What are you into" talk — the pre-meet compatibility conversation, generally between two men
• PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and DoxyPEP (doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis) — doctor-prescribed medications for prevention of certain STIs
• U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) — a person who is HIV-positive but takes their medications and has an undetectable viral load
• Gooning / pup play — masturbation or puppy-acting play subcultures

Links & resources

Word of the Week
Dr. Joe Kort
Side Guys (book)
"Side Guys" Facebook group — search "Side Guys" on Facebook (Kort's group, ~9,000 members)

Sexual health (not medical advice — see your own provider)
CDC — HIV prevention and PrEP
CDC — DoxyPEP clinical guidance (2024)
Prevention Access Campaign (U=U)

Products mentioned
Aneros (prostate massagers)
Bator Balm
Pure Romance

Next episode: Grayson's Journey — a lot of overlap with Sam's, a lot of differences, and the promised college-girlfriend callback!

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.