SFIO 407 - Who Are You Without All the Things? with guest Toya Moore
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📋 Episode Summary
In this episode, Emily and Marc talk with Toya Moore — coach, community advocate, yoga teacher, ICF South Carolina president, mom, and someone very intentionally reimagining this phase of her life.
The conversation moves through rest, parenting adult children, play, community-building, coaching, strengths, and what happens when life strips away some of the things we thought defined us. Toya shares how a serious car accident shifted her understanding of identity, resources, rest, and groundedness.
It's a warm, funny, vulnerable conversation about being in transition without rushing to solve it — about learning to pour into yourself, plant both feet on the ground, and be okay not knowing what tomorrow looks like.
🔑 Key Takeaways
• Rest is not the opposite of growth. For Toya, rest is part of preparing for a thoughtful pivot.
• Parenting adult children may require reimagining old patterns rather than simply repeating how we were parented.
• Intentional boundaries — like Do Not Disturb, no late-night calls, and a Sabbath rhythm — can become a practical form of self-care.
• Play does not always have to be elaborate. Sometimes whimsy looks like singing Hall & Oates in the grocery store or reading yourself a bedtime story.
• Strengths can be overused. VIA Strengths gives Toya a way to help people understand what serves them, what needs practice, and what may get in the way.
• Losing "the things" — a car, money, furniture, status, titles, or ease — can reveal deeper questions about character and identity.
• A pivot is not only the action of turning. Sometimes it is the grounded point that makes the turn possible.
🗣 Quote Highlights
"I am planted at the intersection of rest and pivoting." – Toya
"I don't need to do all those new things. I need to finish the things that I have been working on for years and years and years." – Toya
"I had my likeness put into a book… I read myself a bedtime story." – Toya
"The hat rack at your house has so many hooks for all the different hats you wear." – Marc
"Who are you without all the things?" – Toya
"The pivot is that I've got my front foot rooted, or my back foot rooted, or my core engaged. That's where the action comes from." – Emily
"I want to normalize being in a space of uncertainty and not knowing which way I'm going and being okay with it." – Toya
🧰 Tools & Mentions
• International Coaching Federation of South Carolina https://icfsc.org/
• VIA Strengths / Values in Action
• Life University positive psychology program
• Veterans Yoga Project
👥 Who Should Listen
• Parents learning how to relate to their adult children in a new way
• Coaches, facilitators, and community leaders navigating a season of transition
• People who are tired of burning the candle at both ends and want rest to become more intentional
• Anyone asking who they are apart from roles, titles, status, money, or possessions
• Leaders who care about strengths-based work, somatics, mindfulness, and community-building
🎺 That Music!
Special thanks to Lexi Moreno, Caleb Pitman, and Zoe Czarnecki for the original music.
Lexi Moreno – composing / mixing / mastering / guitar
Caleb Pitman – composing / mixing / trumpet
Zoe Czarnecki – bass