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If you’ve ever found yourself obsessing over texts, over-giving in relationships, or feeling painfully hooked on emotionally unavailable people, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.

In this conversation, I’m joined by trauma-informed somatic coach and anxious attachment specialist, Valerie Rubin. We dive into what anxious attachment actually is, why it’s not a personality flaw and how healing happens at the level of the nervous system, the body, and even ancestral lines – not just in your head.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What anxious attachment really looks like in everyday life
• The 4 attachment styles (plus one often-missed one)
• Why anxious & avoidant attachment share the same core wound
• Reassurance-seeking, ‘chasing’ & “crazy” behaviour – reframed
• Why talk therapy alone often isn’t enough
• Ancestral trauma & attachment
• Somatic & nervous system tools to begin healing anxious attachment
• Breaking the pattern of chasing emotionally unavailable partners

This episode is for you if…

• You identify as anxiously attached, or you’re constantly worrying your partner will leave, cheat or “find someone better”.
• You keep ending up with emotionally unavailable, avoidant or “bad boy” types, even though you know they’re not good for you.
• You’ve tried talk therapy, mindset work and “acting differently”… and still find yourself stuck in the same cycles.
• You’re curious about somatic therapy, brainspotting, ancestral healing or shamanic work as ways to untangle old patterns.
• You’re ready to stop blaming yourself and start working with your nervous system instead of against it.

If you’re someone who is anxiously attached and keeps being pulled towards avoidant or emotionally unavailable partners, Valerie has created a free masterclass that you’re going to want to jump into.

👉 You can access Valerie’s free masterclass HERE

You can find Valerie and her work here:

• Instagram: @healwithval
• Podcast: The Anxiety Recovery Podcast with Valerie Rubin
• Website: www.valrubin.com

Thank you for listening, and as always, if this episode resonated, please share it with a friend who keeps getting hooked by emotionally unavailable partners, or leave a review so more people ca

If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place.

I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice.

Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required.

🌀 Want to work together?

Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com

Questions or ready to chat?

DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach
or book a free connection call HERE.