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In this episode, the abuse reaches its most relentless form. Access expands. Protection thins. Fear no longer comes in spikes — it becomes constant.

This is the season when summer stopped being a break and became exposure. When responsibility became a trap. When survival stopped feeling temporary and started feeling permanent.

And this is where something inside me changed.

At the height of it, my mind and body chose dissociation. Not as a strategy I selected, but as a survival response I didn’t yet understand. I learned how to leave without leaving. How to disappear and still function. How to endure what felt unendurable.

I also share a present-day truth: his death, my indifference, and the complicated grief I carry for the children we were raised alongside.

This episode explores the severity of prolonged abuse, the cost of surviving it, and the powerful intelligence of a body determined to stay alive.

Content warning: This episode discusses escalating abuse and dissociation as a trauma response.

CREDITS: Created, hosted, and produced by Sheryl.

Website: dissociatedpod.com

RESOURCES

Immediate Support

• National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-4673 Website: https://www.rainn.org
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 Website: https://www.crisistextline.org
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988 Website: https://988lifeline.org

Therapy & Trauma Support

• Psychology Today Therapist Finder: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapist
• Therapy Den — Inclusive Therapist Directory: https://www.therapyden.com
• EMDR International Association: https://www.emdria.org
• Trauma-Focused CBT: https://tfcbt.org

Organizations & Survivor Communities

• RAINN: https://www.rainn.org
• 1in6 (for male-identifying survivors): https://1in6.org
• Pandora’s Project: https://pandys.org
• End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI): https://evawintl.org