『Retired RCMP Sergeant: How to Ask for Help When You're the Strong One | Tammy Ward』のカバーアート

Retired RCMP Sergeant: How to Ask for Help When You're the Strong One | Tammy Ward

Retired RCMP Sergeant: How to Ask for Help When You're the Strong One | Tammy Ward

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Why is asking for help so difficult when everyone knows you as the strong one?

For years, Tammy Ward knew how to keep going. After 24 years in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), she had learned how to respond under pressure, lead other people through difficult situations, and keep showing up even while carrying things no one else could see.

Until carrying everything alone started working against her.

In this episode of Build Regardless™, Tammy and Vanessa explore the hidden cost of always being dependable, why capable people struggle to ask for help, and what resilience looks like when strength no longer means staying silent.

This is a conversation for anyone who has become so accustomed to taking care of everyone else that they have forgotten how to let someone take care of them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
  • What "I'm fine" may actually be hiding
  • How to ask better questions when someone is struggling
  • Why listening without immediately offering solutions matters
  • How a healthy coping mechanism can quietly become unhealthy
  • What leaders can do to create a genuine safe space in the workplace
  • How to take inventory of what you're carrying before it becomes too much
  • Why highly capable people can struggle to recognize when they are overwhelmed
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Cost of Always Being the Strong One
02:04 Tammy’s 24-Year Career in the RCMP
03:00 Joining the RCMP After Being Told She Was Too Small
04:34 The Emotional Cost of Carrying Trauma Alone
05:57 Leading Through difficult seasons. Why Strong People Suffer in Silence
08:55 The Hidden Signs of Trauma Behind the word “I’m Fine”
13:27 Why Strong People Struggle to Ask for Help and Suffer in Silence
16:46 Why Asking for Help Feels Like Weakness
22:30 Your First Brave Conversation: Recognizing You Need Help
24:33 Finding Mental Health Support That Feels Safe
26:48 What Strength and Resilience Really Look Like
29:05 Why “Are You Okay?” Isn’t Enough—and What to Ask Instead
36:01 How to Listen Without Trying to Fix Someone
41:20 How Leaders Build Psychological Safety in the Workplace
47:53 For the ONE listener: How to Know When You’re Carrying Too Much
54:07 Brutally honest advice for anyone rebuilding their lives
58:24 Final Message from Vanessa
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More from Dr. Vanessa Mbamarah
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vmbamarah/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vmbamarah/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vmbamarah
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vmbamarah
Website: https://vanessambamarah.com/
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More On BuildRegardless
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/buildregardless/
Podcast Page & Resources: https://vanessambamarah.com/buildregardless/
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Subscribe to Vanessa's YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@vmbamarah
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