Episode 12 of “Building Better Relationships in Construction” unpacks the concept of “disarming” when you feel attacked. Alex and Sabrina explain that in high‑stress construction settings, the instinct is to argue, justify, or shut down when a client, sub, or supplier lashes out. Paul proposes a smarter path: emotionally disarm by staying calm, curious, and looking for a kernel of truth beneath the harsh words.

They walk through four steps: (1) listen fully without preparing a rebuttal, (2) acknowledge feelings with simple validation (“I understand you’re frustrated”), (3) take responsibility where it’s genuinely warranted (“You’re right, we could have communicated that better”), and (4) invite more detail so you can solve the real issue. Throughout, they emphasize that disarming isn’t surrender or letting people walk over you—it’s tactical de‑escalation that preserves both standards and relationships.

Real‑world examples show how this approach shifts conversations from blame to collaboration with subs, suppliers, and homeowners. The hosts stress practice, boundaries with truly abusive behavior, and the leadership impact of modeling calm responses. Done consistently, disarming turns attacks into trust‑building opportunities and long‑term goodwill.