In this episode, Jon sits down with Dr. Monique Thompson to unpack what really happens in couples therapy when infidelity and trauma collide. Using the metaphor of a burning house, she explains that the first priority is getting the injured partner “out of the fire” by stabilizing their nervous system before any major life decisions are made. They talk about how trauma after betrayal shows up in the body, why feeling “crazy” is actually a predictable biological response, and how essential trust and safety with the therapist are before any modality can work. Dr. Thompson also shares how she approaches couples with children differently, focusing on quickly lowering emotional tension at home to protect kids’ developing brains, and why sex, humor, and small moments of affection are powerful signs of relational health.

From there, the conversation dives into EMDR as a trauma treatment, explaining bilateral stimulation in plain language and how it helps the brain get “unstuck” from painful memories so new, more adaptive beliefs can emerge. Dr. Thompson describes how she uses EMDR both in individual and couples work, tailoring session length and frequency to each person’s window of tolerance, and combining it with resourcing, psychoeducation, and practical amends after infidelity. They also touch on personality traits like borderline features, when to bring in DBT, the role of financial infidelity, and why hope and expectancy are as critical to healing as any technique. The episode closes with an honest nod to how exhausting couples work can be, and a reminder from long term research that investing in your primary relationship is one of the most important predictors of health and longevity.

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

Leave Dr. Jon a Voicemail at 888-705-3830 and get your questions answered in a future video (please keep it anonymous).

Interested in booking a 1:1 zoom session with Jon? Use this link to check if he has any availability:

https://mrspirituality.com/discovery-call

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

Leave Dr. Jon a Voicemail at 888-705-3830 and get your questions answered in a future video (please keep it anonymous).

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Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

Leave Dr. Jon a Voicemail at 888-705-3830 and get your questions answered in a future video (please keep it anonymous).

Interested in booking a 1:1 zoom session with Jon? Use this link to check if he has any availability:

https://mrspirituality.com/discovery-call

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

Leave Dr. Jon a Voicemail at 888-705-3830 and get your questions answered in a future video (please keep it anonymous).

Interested in booking a 1:1 zoom session with Jon? Use this link to check if he has any availability:

https://mrspirituality.com/discovery-call

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

Leave Dr. Jon a Voicemail at 888-705-3830 and get your questions answered in a future video (please keep it anonymous).

Interested in booking a 1:1 zoom session with Jon? Use this link to check if he has any availability:

https://mrspirituality.com/discovery-call

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

In this episode of the Relationship Revival podcast, Dr. Jon Dabach welcomes back Dr. T, who introduces a groundbreaking relationship model called the Intention-Action-Perception (IAP) framework. Dr. T discusses the inspiration behind the IAP model and how it evolved through personal experiences and years of counseling practice. This insightful conversation delves into the ways our intentions can be misinterpreted in relationships due to differing perceptions, and the importance of clear communication. Dr. T highlights strategies that couples can use to improve understanding and resolve conflicts, focusing on techniques like the preamble, instructive compliments, and the rule of three interpretations.

Dr. T also shares insights from her upcoming book, Why Are We Fighting? Actionable Strategies for Effective Communication, which expands on the IAP model. The book provides practical tools and worksheets to help couples navigate their communication challenges and foster healthier relationships. Throughout the episode, both Dr. Dabach and Dr. T offer tangible advice that listeners can implement in their own relationships, emphasizing the need for intentional communication and empathy.

You can get a copy of her book here:
https://amzn.to/47wS2Gb

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com

In this episode, Dr. Jon Dabach explores the common issue of stopping for a beer before coming home and its potential impact on relationships. He emphasizes that the significance of this behavior depends on various factors, including communication, expectations, and the reasons behind the behavior. Dr. Jon highlights the importance of discussing such habits openly with your partner to ensure that both parties are on the same page and to avoid misunderstandings that can erode trust.

Dr. Jon provides practical advice on how to approach this situation, suggesting that couples communicate their needs and concerns clearly. He encourages individuals to reflect on the reasons behind their desire to stop for a drink and to explore alternative ways to relieve stress. Additionally, he recommends seeking professional help if the behavior is indicative of deeper issues within the relationship. The episode aims to help couples navigate this common dilemma and maintain a healthy, trusting relationship.

Memorable Quotes

1. "The quick answer is it depends. It depends why and how you're doing it."
2. "If you haven't talked about it, you need to get the expectations down on the table."
3. "Quality time is required for every relationship, even if it's not your top love language."
4. "Trust erodes when expectations aren't met, regardless of the issue."
5. "Nobody gets married saying, 'Oh, I can't wait to have a husband who never comes home.'"
6. "If you're avoiding things in your relationship, going to the bar won't make them go away."
7. "Communicate what you want, see the reaction, and be honest with yourself first."
8. "If you need help, don't be afraid to ask. There are professionals who can help you navigate these issues."

Keyword List

grabbing a beer before home, relationship advice, Dr. Jon Dabach, communication in relationships, trust issues, quality time, managing stress, relationship expectations, avoiding conflicts, professional help for relationships, honest communication, marital challenges, stress relief, quality time in relationships, discussing habits, relationship dynamics, avoiding relationship issues, healthy relationships, conflict resolution, relationship trust

Interested in working with Jon directly? Find him at https://MrSpirituality.com