on Church and State and being so certain of what you're looking for you miss it when it arrives.

Get some context for the host:

In this week's episode, instead of asking a guest about their experience, ChatGPT asks Will a little about his.

In this 'conversation', Will reflects on the concept of 'recalculating' in life, particularly in relation to his upbringing in the Adventist faith. He shares personal anecdotes about questioning faith, carrying the past, and the interplay between faith and doubt. Will discusses the nostalgia for community experiences, the ongoing process of understanding God, and the challenges faced when leaving high-demand religions. He emphasizes the importance of navigating uncertainty and the complexities of cultural conversations, particularly around racism within Christianity.

Today, we’re concluding my conversation with Luka, our good Adventist child, our trans/non-binary guest who has been sharing their story the last two episodes.

In this episode dive into how Luka explored faith, doubt, and the questions that were often too risky to ask directly.

We’re talking about the conundrum of a desire to explore your theological questions without feeling like you’re falling prey to the author of confusion or committing an act of betrayal by believing in yourself.

We will talk about educating your way to a more open theology: the differences between the Torah and the Ten Commandments, and how what we elevate or ignore shapes our moral and spiritual lives.

We’ll uncover paradoxes that everyone in religious life feels at some point: being called to serve the world while believing the end is near, trying to love the marginalized while our communities only extend care to those who fit in, and the vulnerabilities of being fully trusted once you are inside that fold.

We’ll also explore how to find the sacred again after deconstruction: how to see holiness in ordinary life, and create a spirituality that actually feels alive.

Finally, we talk about what reflections come from carrying a marginalized perspective in faith, and what grace, insight, and resilience can be discovered when you live and question from the edges.

This episode is about paradox, honesty, and transformation — please enjoy.

https://www.tiktok.com/@eggsadventist

Picking up directly from the discussion of what makes a good Adventist kid, we have to discuss Luka's journey toward good adventist adult. Specifically, an adventist woman. That presented a particular challenge as that label wasn’t going to fit as Luka was beginning to realize their gender wasn’t so simple. Luka is trans.

We talk about as interesting space Luka found for gender expression in Adventism, and how it’s call to be “peculiar,” to mark ourselves through modesty and separation gave space to mute femininity without drawing immediate suspicion.

Luka discusses connecting with their indigenous heritage and two-spirit traditions in Indigenous culture, the science and experiences of intersex people in a black-and-white gender system.

This episode is slightly shorter than the norm, but it is intentional. The trans and nonbinary experience is far too maligned and scapegoated in our society and particularly in fundamentalist circles like conservative adventism. Luka's honesty and openness on these topics demanded its own lane.

Links from the show:

Holy Disobedience Kickstarter (ENDS THURSDAY 9/18)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lakedrivebooks/holy-disobedience-by-melissa-duge-spiers?ref=discovery&term=lake%20drive%20books&total_hits=2&category_id=48

Luka's Tiktok Content:

https://www.tiktok.com/@eggsadventist

Altar'd Thoughts TikTok Content:

https://www.tiktok.com/@will.i.jam

Welcome back to Recalculating… a podcast about spiritual detours, honest doubt, and the clarity that comes for questioning the path your on.

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Luka — you might know them online as @Eggsadventist on TikTok. Luka is a fellow sojourner with a sharp eye for the way Adventism shapes people, not just spiritually but socially and psychologically. Their work digs into the culture and sociology of growing up Adventist — and what it means to step outside of it.

We start with a simple but loaded question: what does it mean to be a “good Adventist kid”? That opens into a conversation about the passive-aggressive ways character was formed, the ways food and diet were controlled, and what happens when the church’s rigid identity collides with a family member’s personal truth.

For Luka, that story runs right through her father’s journey — from writing a thesis on Catholicism at Andrews University, to eventually leaving Adventism altogether. We talk about theological debates at the dinner table, what it was like to grow up in an “unequally yoked” home, and the impossible choices a family can face: the church’s acceptance, or a parent’s presence.

It’s a conversation about loyalty, belonging, and the costs of both. Let’s get into it.

For Luka's content:

https://www.tiktok.com/@eggsadventist?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

In this episode Heidi explains how the writing process has helped her confront, heal, transcend and include her past and the motivations that drive it. We discuss, purpose, belief, and struggle while also getting into a conversation about what we have retained and reclaimed. What were the positives from the system when detached from the obligations of the system. Hopefully I can have Heidi on again sometimes, because this was truly a thrill. If you've enjoyed these, follow Heidi, share these episode, leave a comment or review, or volunteer to be an upcoming guest!! I want to hear your stories!

In this episode, Heidi and Will discuss the 'after.' When certainty falls and mystery opens.

We discuss:

1.) Grief over lost labels. (start)

2.) Taking ownership of belief (4 minutes)

3.) Energy - (7 minutes)

4.) The Impact of Heidi's mother's passing - (11 minutes)

5.) Pivot Points (17 minutes)

6.) Remnant style religions (20 minutes)

7.) Inspiration and Past Life Regression (24 minutes)

8.) Inspiration re-imagined (29 minutes)

9.) Law of Attraction (33 minutes)

10.) 'The Mother Ring Teaser' (39 minutes.)

References made to Dolores Cannon, Past Life Regression, CTPSD, and Grimoires

Episode 2 featuring the first part of an incredibly open and honest conversation with Heidi Odell - Educator, Mother, Union Rep, and 6th generation Adventist...formerly. Oh, and she's the Great Great Great Grandaughter of Ellen G. White

The first part of this conversation dives into the weight of leaving a religion that is more blood than belief, and the cognitive dissonance experienced when belief became action and the church was nowhere to be found.
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