Kathrine Nero

In this episode, Kathrine Nero and Lauryn Howery discuss ways to talk turkey, not politics, this Thanksgiving!

There’s a chill in the air, a pie in the oven, and an uncle somewhere warming up his favorite political rant. Welcome to misinformation season.

It’s that time of year when your cousin’s cranberry sauce might come with a side of controversy, and as we gather in gratitude, the real goal isn’t steering the conversation — it’s staying at the table.

If you’ve ever found yourself sitting at the family table wondering how the conversation went from mashed potatoes to misinformation, you’re not alone. The holidays are basically democracy in the dining room: everyone has a voice, everyone’s talking at once, and occasionally someone walks away mid-sentence.

Journalists deal with this every day - separating opinion from evidence, listening to people they disagree with, and trying to get to the truth without losing their cool. Borrowing a few of their habits might make this year’s gathering a little more bearable.

Start with curiosity, not combat. The best reporters don’t start with an agenda; they start with questions. Instead of jumping in with “That’s not true,” try, “Where did you hear that?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” Or “What makes you say that?” You’re not trying to win an argument (yet!) - you’re trying to understand a perspective. And sometimes, just asking how someone knows what they know, or why they believe certain things reveals that they’re not entirely sure themselves.

Verify before you amplify. Journalists are trained skeptics. Before they publish, they confirm. Before you forward that post, do the same. Look up the original source. Check whether it’s been reported elsewhere. Read past the headline. Some reliable, quick fact-checkers include PolitiFact, Snopes, and AP Fact Check. Or just check against other similar outlets. If a meme, video, or “breaking news” update seems too wild to be true, there’s a good chance it is.

Find common ground — and if you can’t, find common values. Most people agree that communities should be safe, schools should work and the truth should matter. Find a way to get back to those greatest hits. When you start from what unites rather than what divides, conversations tend to soften. The goal isn’t to change someone’s mind in one meal; it’s to remind each other that respectful disagreement still exists.

Know when to take a pass the potatoes. Even journalists hit “pause” when an interview turns unproductive. You can, too. Not every debate has to end in resolution. Sometimes the best choice is to move on - or to shift the topic back to football, dessert, or literally anything less heated. Democracy thrives on engagement, but it also depends on civility.

The church I went to for years had a saying that still sticks with me: “We agree to disagree - agreeably.” The dinner table, or the football game that follows, isn’t the place to change every mind or solve every problem. But taking time to understand another person’s perspective might be the start of something better - a little empathy, a little patience, maybe even a little peace.