We are back so soon with a few new characters and adventures for season 4 of Stranger Things

So in 1979 which was FOUR YEARS before Eleven opened the gate and Will was taken to the upside down, remember that for all the scenes that ever take place in Hawkins lab for this season, they are ALL in 1979!

Brenner is showing off to himself how smart he is with a crossword puzzle and then going to work to see how stupid he really is by kidnapping kids and "one" of them massacres literally everyone in the building besides himself and one other

That's the hook

In 1986, in California El is writing a letter to Mike, telling him almost nothing but LIES

I guess girlfriends lie all the time too...

Jonathon is on the POT, smoking that dank stuff with a marijauna plant that has gained sentience and started talking, they call him Argyle

Joyce is a telemarketer now which is surprising given how many times phones have attacked her in the past...

In Hawkins, Mike and co. are freshmen in High School and Lucas is trying to not get beat up all the time and Dustin and Mike are like, we want to get beat up even more... by this guy who we follow around like lost sheep and his name is Eddie (he's secretly super nice but its a secret)

Eddie dances on tables and yells at everyone who can hear him and is just in general the best thing that has happened to the show since Eleven killed a bunch of abusive a-holes

Max is depressed and I can't even joke about it because it's too REAL and I feel bad for her.

we meet a cheerleader who is also going through a rough time

So we get to see the worst villain this show has ever seen and her name is Angela. She's mean to El for literally no reason... El is talking about her dead dad and Angela is like "wait, he's a loser" and I'm like... someone kill this bitch asap

Joyce gets a doll in the mail and calls Murray who is unnecessarily naked in a bath of ice... flayed? no, just sore after doing karate with preteens, the doll is literally russian but I don't see Natasha Lyonne which is disappointing

Back in Hawkins Mike and Dustin keep getting rejected by people who don't want to play D&D with them and this is karma for what they did to Will last year

The cheerleader (chrissy) meets up with Eddie in the forest for the best Disney princess meet cute anyone has ever seen (Eddie is the princess btw)

he throws himself on the ground and rolls around in leaves as is the mating ritual of the 80s metal head teenager... (or 20yr old)

She is charmed but still wants DRUGS, HARD DRUGS because this girl is losing her mind and seeing clocks in trees and spiders everywhere... girl sounds like you already had some... I would have needed to be on something this entire time if I were her because she is dating the worlds most boring ken doll, he probably literally isn't even anatomically correct... and he doesn't realize his girlfriend of forever is going through trauma but Eddie clocks it (pardon the pun) in under two minutes? wow

So there is a game, basketball and D&D and they are both intense and Sinclairs win them both and I honestly do not care at all about sports ball but seeing Lucas win made me literally feel like a proud parent...

Eddie takes Chrissy to his place for some "special K" which i guess is a pill and not code for kissing (boo) but she gets snap crackle popped like so much cereal right in front of him and that's the end of this episode... wow