Episode 6: Newport, New Problems (But Make It Unhinged)

We're back, and this week the girls trade their regular chaos for a historic Newport mansion — because apparently 29 bedrooms and a metal detector aren't overkill. That's right, Alicia shows up to one of the most prestigious estates in Rhode Island with a metal detector and New Balance sneakers, swinging for diamonds in her tea party dress. She found nothing. We respect the commitment.

Speaking of the tea party — Alicia goes full unhinged hostess mode: pink gloves and porcelain dolls, while Liz brings personalized masks for every woman with a little "note" that is aggressively passive-aggressive. Kelsey gets a giant showgirl feather situation. Ashley gets... a metallic slab that covers her entire face. Draw your own conclusions.

Then it's time to unmask (literally) and share your deepest secrets. Joellen reveals her mom sent her to a behavioral program. Liz reveals her mom passed away when she was a teen. Ashley reveals... that someday, someone she loves might die. And then she cries about it. Liz says "Okay." They move on.

Meanwhile, Kelsey is officially out of her relationship, Liz shows up with a compass and best-friend energy, and Rosie is accused of lying about her square footage — the real crime of the century. The episode ends with Rosie dropping the mic: "Kelsey has none of that."

We love this show. We're not okay. See you next week.