What if the very act of nurturing your child could rewire your traumatized brain? Today I explore how parenting changes your brain with neuroscientist and author Greer Kirshenbaum. As someone who couldn't co-sleep because of my PTSD flashbacks, I was deeply moved by what Greer revealed about the science of parental transformation.

We discuss why some parents feel disconnected from their bodies and struggle with physical closeness, yet still can create secure attachments with their babies. Greer shares surprising research about what happens in both parent and baby brains during those early years, and why your perceived "failures" as a parent might actually be completely irrelevant to your child.

We also tackle the tough questions—what if you never learned how to nurture because you weren't nurtured yourself? What if trauma makes traditional bonding advice impossible to follow? This conversation gave me a completely new perspective on my own parenting journey and the healing that happened without me even realizing it.

1. What specific brain regions transform when you become a parent, and why can scientists identify parents just by looking at 70-year-old brains?
2. How does parenting change your brain differently for birthing parents versus non-birthing parents?
3. Can nurturing your baby actually heal your own childhood trauma and create the secure attachment you never had?
4. What if you can't co-sleep or struggle with physical touch due to PTSD—are there alternatives that still foster connection?
5. Why do babies in the NICU still recognize their parents, and what simple voice recording technique helped me bond with my medically fragile newborn?
6. If you never received nurturing as a child, how can you learn to parent differently without an internal working model?
7. How does parenting change your brain to see your body differently—why did I finally love my body only after becoming a mother?
8. Why does your baby think you're perfect even when you hate your body or feel like a failure?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

For full show notes and more resources visit https://www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2025/11/12/how-parenting-changes-your-brain-dr-greer-kirshenbaum-explains-the-science-of-healing-trauma-through-nurturing/

What if your childhood trauma isn't just yours to carry? What if emotional inheritance means your kids are already carrying pieces of it too?

Today I'm talking with Dr. Galit Atlas, whose book "Emotional Inheritance" completely changed how I think about the invisible legacies we pass to our children. We get real about something that happened to both of us: being told we couldn't possibly have PTSD because we were "too functional." (Spoiler: that's not how trauma works.) We explore why some parents literally can't tolerate their baby's crying - not because they're bad parents, but because their own pain was never held. Dr. Atlas shares the story of Naomi, a patient who insisted she had perfect parents but couldn't figure out why she felt like an outsider everywhere. We talk about the burden of parents who say "I just want you to be happy" and why sitting with your child's pain matters more than fixing it.

Plus, we discuss how therapy might actually change your gene expression (yes, really) and why even the angriest, most difficult parts of what we inherited can become something different in our children's lives.

1. What does emotional inheritance really mean, and why does Dr. Atlas call therapy an "epigenetic drug" that can actually change how our genes express themselves?
2. Why do trauma survivors often struggle to recognize their own trauma, especially when they compare themselves to their parents' experiences?
3. What happens when well-meaning parents who desperately want their children to "just be happy" accidentally create a different kind of burden?
4. Why is sitting with your child's pain more important than fixing it, and how does this relate to emotional inheritance patterns?
5. What is mentalization, and how does one patient's reaction to a creepy doll reveal the profound impact of never experiencing true attunement?
6. Why is the ability to integrate both the positive and negative aspects of our family legacy essential for breaking unhealthy cycles?
7. What resilience and survival skills do we inherit alongside trauma, and how can we consciously pass on the strengths while healing the wounds?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

For full show notes and more resources visit https://www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2025/10/29/emotional-inheri…h-dr-galit-atlas/

What happens when you desperately want to give your children the secure childhood you never had, but you have no instincts to guide you? Raising securely attached kids becomes incredibly complex when your own childhood left you with PTSD, depression, or chronic feelings of never being enough. Today I'm sitting down with Eli Harwood, the attachment expert.

Together we explore why chronic childhood neglect often creates more lasting damage than single traumatic events, and how even well-intentioned parents can pass on trauma. Eli shares her personal journey of growing up with a mother who had severe PTSD and how that shaped her understanding of attachment. We discuss the difference between hovering and true presence, why your inner child might feel jealous of your actual children, and how to recognize when you're parenting from a place of your own unresolved wounds.

Most importantly, we talk about how to break these generational patterns without falling into perfectionism or shame. This episode is a guide for any parent who's determined to raise securely attached kids, even when they're still healing themselves.

1. Why does chronic emotional neglect in childhood affect your parenting more than you might realize?
2. What should you do when your inner child feels jealous of the care you're giving your own children?
3. Why is feedback from your children so triggering when you grew up with an insecure attachment?
4. How can you develop parenting instincts when your childhood didn't provide you with a healthy template?
5. Why do we need other adults in our lives to help us regulate?
6. What does "I got you AND you got you" really mean in raising securely attached kids?
7. How do you handle the grief of watching your children grow and need you less when attachment was your biggest wound?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

For full show notes and more resources visit www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2025/10/15/how-to-raise-sec…with-eli-harwood/