This week's Decent Fucking Human is Paula. Her fucked up story is about being raised by a toxic mother who tried to murder her as an infant. Other topics in this episode include narcissistic abuse, alcoholism, and anxiety.

Paula's mother tried to kill her. She was only 3 months old the first time it happened, and five months old the second. It's taken her a lifetime to piece together and process what happened, and there are still friends, family, and acquaintances who don't believe her story.

It's not surprising that people don't want to believe her. Mothers hold a special place in society, and many want to believe that even the most flawed ones are well-intentioned. They're often given the benefit of the doubt, and abuse is overlooked until either charges are filed or the funeral is scheduled.

What makes Paula's story more complicated is that the only proof she has is her memory. It's hard to believe that anyone can remember anything from such a young age, but there is growing evidence that infants can remember traumatic events. Even if you're skeptical, I'd encourage you to reserve judgment and have a listen. There's still a story here about a woman who was raised by a toxic mother and has done a whole lot of work to heal.

More From Paula

• Soft Skill Strategy Courses: softskillstrategycourses.com
• More on DISC and behavioral styles: smilessparksuccess.com
• Soft Skills Facebook group

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Instagram: @positivelyterrible

Facebook: @positivelyterrible

Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send an email to podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Paula Kramer - Guest

Warning: Producer Dan couldn’t make it to this episode, so please don’t turn it off when you hear Scott's voice first. Also, note that this is not our usual format - it's our first update interview. The updates are nothing but positive, but we revisit parts of Amy's story about her broken neck and sheared brain stem, and we also talk about the suicidal thoughts she was having at that time. Amy's book Finding My Hero Within: A Journey from Incapacitation to Empowerment is out now.

Dan and I first became acquainted with Amy in August 2023 when we interviewed her for our 17th episode, I Laid in Bed 23 Hours a Day for a Year. The episode was about the catastrophic injuries she experienced when she fell at home. Amy didn’t know it at the time, but she’d later learn she sheared her brainstem, and she lives with a broken neck to this day.

Amy’s episode was one of the first that made me think Positively Terrible could be something special. She was a great guest with a powerful story, and I had no idea why she trusted us enough to share with us idiots. She was one of the first guests we booked who wasn’t a friend, family, or a friend of a friend. I immediately knew she was a great guest, but I didn’t realize Amy would become a special friend of the Podcast. We’ve followed Amy as she's continued her journey, and we never go too long without hearing from her.

Considering how much we appreciate Amy, we quickly agreed when she approached us to record an update. This one is a little lighter on the trauma aspect, though she does tell us about the fancy new plate in her neck. This one is more about a life achievement she wanted to share – she published a book! It's called Finding My Hero Within: A Journey from Incapacitation to Empowerment, and it's being released for the 10th anniversary of her accident.

Creators & Guests

• Amy Thurman - Guest

This week's Decent Fucking Human is Simon Rinne. His fucked up story is about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Other topics in this episode include alcohol abuse, parental divorce, anxiety, masculinity, and a very professional intro.

Simon suffered from undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder for 20 years before he learned what it was or that he had it. It started when he was eight and a schoolmate told him that he'd lose his voice forever if he went more than a minute without using it. It would have been a harmless 8-year-old kind of prank for most of us, but for Simon it triggered his first obsession and compulsion cycle. He started humming constantly to make sure he didn't lose his voice.

Simon was raised the way a lot of boys were in the 80s and 90s. He watched WCW (that's wrassling for those of you who don't know), was expected to be tough and strong, and knew it was an insult to be told he did something like a girl. He wasn't encouraged to discuss or seek help for his mental health, so he just sucked it up and did what men do - he suppressed his feelings with alcohol.

The OCD Simon has is the clinical sort. It's the type that is disruptive, if not disabling. The people who say they're OCD because they check the locks an extra time before going to bed are not OCD - they're just using lazy language. Simon's compulsions made his life more difficult and were something that required treatment. He got that treatment and is now using his experiences to help others. I've got so much more to say about this interview, but just play the damn episode. Simon tells the story so much better than I do...

More From Simon

• Get in touch with Simon
• Join the Mindful Men Facebook Community
• Follow on TikTok
• Listen to his podcast wherever you get podcasts (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube)

Mentioned in This Episode

• Free online ordination with Universal Life Church
• Fix a leaky P-trap
• Scott's dog Bologna
• World Championship Wrestling (WCW)

Follow our socials:

Instagram: @positivelyterrible

Facebook: @positivelyterrible

Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Simon Rinne - Guest